Inside Studio JRy: 2014 Taught me to Forgive and Move On (now 2015 is about growing...)

Happy Chanukah,  Happy Christmas, Happy Boxing Day, Happy New Year to you all!

I have to tell you all that this year was whirlwind of change and accomplishments on another level.  I can't even begin to think about what made this year so special, but it was very transformative.  

I always looks back on blogs posted approximentally a year prior and compare where I was a year before.  I do this TWICE a year.  The first at Rosh Hashanah and then again at the traditional New Year after Christmas Day has passed.

What I find is that all my spiritual tasks and mindsets are reset during Rosh Hashanah as they should be and that I go through a three-and-a-half month transformation during the High Holy Days, secular and Christian holidays that gets me off-course a bit and teaches me more about myself than most lessons studied in text books.

This past three-and-a-half months have taught me about forgiveness and how to be completely bare and open with truth that lies underneath each word, each deed and each person's interaction with me.

I feel like there has been a calm period in my life for once in my life and that I owe most of the credit to myself, really, for shutting up and listening to God and The Universe and telling everyone else to go fly a kite.

I have separated, I have dated, I have been broken, I have fallen in love and STILL maintained a successful business, grown my business and learned to take time for me... FINALLY!!

1. This year was the big separation from Andrew after six years of friendship and many arguments and many intellectual talks that has left me wanting to never speak to him ever again.  He's not a priority.  He is who he is.  I don't ever want to rekindle that connection as friends.  It's okay.  Really. 

2. I dated this year for once in my life when I always relied on never giving anyone any chances and realized that even after giving chances, some people are just unsure of what they want in life.  I can't help those people and after falling in love, I can say that the lesson lies in "moving on".

I'm so glad I took the opportunity to date, really.  I wouldn't have been open to The Mister if I hadn't.

3. I am the king of what it feels like to be broken.  Broken is okay.  Melancholy kind of feels good, but being broken for more than three days and constant despair is a bad look on anyone.  I have learned this by watching my own family members suffer from depression that causes anger and denial.  I don't want to be that person at all unless someone passes away and even then, I have learned there is a dawn to all the darkness.

4. This year I fell in deep down, true, passionate love.  Who knew cynical, judgmental, sarcastic me would ever fall in love?  Well, it happened.  I also learned that if you want to love someone fully you have to FULLY be available to them.  I love him, he loves me,  it's been a beautiful transition and my life has changed... for the better.

5. Business grew RIDICULOUSLY this year!  For once, I was able to give presents I wanted at Christmas, donate to charity, donate to political campaigns and sponsor events without blinking.  Well, maybe I blinked, but I wrote the check and moved on.  Things were very good at the salon, the blog world calmed down a bit as I took time to branch out into comedy performances, podcasts and juggling an active and selective social life on my terms this year.

6. For once, I learned how to take time for me.  Yes, time for ME!  The main struggle in my life has been taking time for ME. Years of writing, touring, doing hair, owning a brand, owning a location, performing and public speaking left me with nearly NO TIME in my twenties, but to drink when I was bored and take part in irritating feuds with peasants.  

I have no time for that.  I have a successful business, live as a successful writer and performer, am sought-after and have learned to dip out of the social scene from time to time because I needed to.  

This year as taught me to value me more and to live by the following philosophy when someone crosses you:

"THEY ARE NOT MY PROBLEM TO HAVE."

Time to move into 2015 with The Mister, a new living arrangement (he's moving in) and focus on growing my Rocktars and Lambs, LTD empire.  

Look out 2015, I'm flexing my creative muscle this year! 

xoxo - j.

Inside Studio JRy: Thinking outside yourself...

Good evening friends,

How are you?

It's about 10:15 pm on a Monday evening as I type this.  Colorado is cold this time of year and not even as chilly as it possibly can or WILL be in the next couple weeks and months.  

Tonight, I was invited to a wine tasting and opted out to work on my third year of my toy drive and filling out Christmas cards.

There's something about this time of year that brings people closer to their sense of selflessness and selfishness.  I can see who is a giver and who is a taker in this world as soon as Black Friday rolls around.  

For me, Christmas was all about being together, cooking and talking growing up.  Presents were, of course, present, but not the focus.

As I got older and technology became more fluent in households, it was clear to see who was just being material and who actually had a connection to their family or something outside of themselves as they approached that glorious 25th day in December.  

For me, as I've gotten older, I've learned to pull-back on my gift-giving and give back to my community.  I have a philosophy: take care of yourself and THEN help take care of others.  Also, when you are blessed immensely, you should share what you have.

Last year, my toy drive provided over 200 homes with gifts for children.  I couldn't believe the numbers.  I would have been happy if even three kids had toys, ya know?

We had so many toys come in, I had enough to donate to two different non-profit organizations.  It was remarkable.

This year is also different because I have someone special to spend the holidays with.  I pinch myself sometimes because I can't believe that things are falling into place.  The other thing I have noticed is that as soon as I blink my eyes, things can change and they DO!

This past week was Thanksgiving and I have to tell you, it was one of the most low-key holidays I've ever had.  It was also very stressful as I brought The Mister home for the holidays.  It was the first time either my sister or I had brought a significant other to the family gathering. 

It felt right, friends.  I felt absolutely perfect.

As I reflect back on this last week and taking time away from the salon and look back at the past month of taking time away from the social scene and deciding to stay in a little more and not drink as much as not worry about people that aren't worrying about me as much: I have to tell you, things are starting to balance out.  

Crazy how life evens itself out, ya know?

Now... time to work on getting some toys for those kids...

-j

Inside Studio JRy: The Mister

Good evening my gorgeous friends!

I'm sitting here sipping German seltzer water and looking over the past week.  I can honestly say: well played Universe!

We had a fabulous week in the salon and a decent week out and about. I learned a lot about myself just as I do on a weekly basis and YES, it's weekly for me! HAHA.

It's funny how things in our lives change, you know?

If you've kept up on the internet at all, you will know that I took a bit of a comedy hiatus from performing for a month and have been working on new material for the 2015 year.  Also, it's the holiday season and I rarely (I mean that) work on anything besides the holiday season that doesn't involve my family.

This last five weeks has been a welcome change of pace as I've welcomed someone new into my life and have taken the time to duck out and work on building a 100% honest, in-your-face, truly in love relationship.

I met The Mister a couple months back and he approached me to start dating and seeing each other exclusively about five weeks ago.  I didn't talk about it at first, but I did tell the ones closest to me how excited I was to embark on this journey.

I made a vow when I turned 30 NOT TO ACT as I did in my 20s and one thing I always did in my twenties was date cheaters.  God, how I hate cheaters! I realized that I was the reason for the cycle in my life and I began opening myself up to the possibility of dating again this past summer.

You have to understand that dating for me is not having random sexual escapades or sexting or even uttering those words to someone.  I believe in courting someone and being as old world as you can in our oversexualized culture.  I can't stand promiscuity and DO NOT practice that.  So, as I began approaching the idea of dating, I aptly re-labled the prospect as "Finding a partner" in my head.  I was not looking for an easy fuck or a holiday boyfriend, I was looking for true love and I was looking for honesty.

The Mister approached ME.  This was something so different as I have NEVER been approached by anyone. In the past, I always did the chasing.  I took the plunge and have never been happier.

Alot of people made comments that my comedy wouldn't be funny and that I would lose friends, well let me clarify that people that speak like that are incredibly jealous and should open their eyes to the world around them.  

It was time to take a break and incubate as a writer (both blogging and comedy).  Also, I have included my friends in this new transition and I have had a handful of back-handed compliments and some full-on lovely support.  Frankly, I am happy and won't listen to negative people.  They all fish themselves out anyway...

If I had to describe my relationship, I would say: I found the Gavin (Rossdale) to my Gwen (Stefani).  I think they're sweet, attractive and like to stay away from the tabloids! 

For nearly a decade, I have been an internet success, a beauty industry success and a local celebrity.  I will always be those titles to everyone, but to be with my partner is the most amazing feeling at home because no matter what is going on OUT THERE, I know there is no way it can affect our relationship.

As a very public persona, I can tell you that I guarantee that blogging, comedy and my salon life have not lost any speed or timing for success, but I did find it very healthy to shut off my iphone, ipad and social media (as well as my social life) to nurture this new bond I have grown so fond of and intend on making permanent.

I want to tell anyone out there in a fresh relationship the following:

Always know this- people have opinions.  They have the right to feel how they feel both happy and sad, both ecstatic and both jaded.  Don't shoo them away, just let them come back when they're ready to accept your life transition to being someone's significant other.

Secondly and lastly- block out the world and listen to your partner.  Make sure everything the pair of you do is something you want for both and be sure to be your own person even as a couple.  That's the only way you will find happiness in being together.

I love you all for reading and welcome you to my life as I transition to life as the other half to my Mister....

xox- j.

Inside Studio JRy: Did you make the cut?

Good morning friends!

It's about 4:30 am as I type this!

What a night I had!

Wow wow wow! Happy Hour turned into happy night without my knowledge.

All I remember is going home and waking up in my bed.  That's all.

So, now it's 4:30 and I feel rested as I drink alkaline water (yes, I do stuff like that).

I was thinking about a lot of stuff: I have to tell you, I am incredibly concerned about my health all the time.  NOT in a bad way! Don't get me wrong, this last six months has been a journey! 

When you move on from a key person in your life like an ex or a best friend that no longer speaks to you, you start to rebalance your life if it shakes the very core of who you are.

For me, it was giving up meat. It was giving up depending on others and it was me throwing myself into my work.

I laugh at heartbreak these days because I know my habits when I'm upset.  I tend to overbuy items like bottled water and yogurt and vow never to eat meat again. LOL.  It's all very silly in grand scheme of things, it really is.

I feel like I've had a major re-balance in my life as I've hit an echelon others find monotonous or even obnoxious.  People have told me to take a break, people have told me I seem happier, people have told me I seem distant and some people have even said I seem to have it all.

The truth is: I'm very blessed.

As melancholy as I sound at times, I have to say that I don't ever purposely mean to be that way, that's just who I am.  Melancholy is not a bad thing.  Sometimes melancholy is a way of being a realist in a world where people are incredibly fake.

I can't tell you how many fake-ass people I have had around me in the last decade, but I'm glad that they keep their distance.  I can't possibly deal with someone that "pretends" to live a perfect life or have a perfect facade. I believe in the beauty of imperfection and I believe in the wholeness of being alone.

For me, those have been the only two traits in me and in many others that I know to be true.  For others looking into my life, it seems like snobbery or discrimination, but they don't understand that I hold snobbery and discrimination at high value levels in life because it means that you have standards.

That's where I'm at in my life mentally: re-balancing my standards.

I don't have time for evaluations from dumb people that just don't get me and I frankly do not believe I have to explain myself anymore to anyone.

I re-read my last blog about being "defeated" and I think the vulnerable words that were written by that vulnerable person are just that: honest and uncut.

Maybe that's where I'm at in my life: honest and uncut.

Did YOU make the cut?

-J

Inside Studio JRy: Defeated

Good evening friends,

How has your weekend been?

How has your transition to fall been?

I have to tell you, it's been a difficult two weeks.  Very difficult.

Situations have included: being asked to leave restaurants by bigot owners, being asked to leave organizations, being told I'm not funny, being forgotten and taken for granted, being yelled at in bars and involving my friends have all spiraled to me just wanting to take a break.

I could bore you with each of the above mentioned issues, but it's very hurtful for me at this time to know I'm been blatantly left-out of events, blatantly lied to and blatantly reminded that I am not everyone's favorite person.

It's been a good six months of transformation since I said goodbye to Andrew being in my life, but it has been a roller-coaster with his friends since he moved.  I have repeatedly been attacked verbally and publicly by these vicious human beings on numerous occasions because they felt I did not handle the falling out with my former best friend properly.

It's funny to me that I quit speaking to him because he, himself, slandered my named online and in person to each of his friends and months later, I am still dealing with his stories and accusations.  There are two very very mouthy people in town that continue to surface and I can't agree with them more that it's best I'm not associated with him anymore... what they've been told is not true, but being salacious wins in this town I've learned.

This past Friday evening took the cake as I was trying to have a talk with a friend of mine.  I was not in a very good mood after hearing a very honest response to approaching someone about possibly dating them. From that point on, my entire night involved over-drinking, too many energies flying my way and my eventual and desperate need to go home.

Leaving a bar intoxicated and angry is not a smart decision.  Nor is using social media to vent your problems you're having.

I'm not upset that "my crush" didn't want to be with me, I'm saddened that the evening continued to snowball into a mix of anger and jealousy.  

I know there are other people interested in him and it urks me to think and to know I will not be the one holding his hand during the holiday season.  Oh well.  Move on, right?

My other conflict is that I adore him to pieces as a person.  I wanted to ask him if we were ever going ot date before I REALLY started to catch deeper feelings for him.  I could give him space, but that's not gonna fly.  I'm sad we won't be romantically linked, but I am happy to know such a smart, witty person.  I don't want to be the drunk friend that lost his shit at the bar, so I have to make the situation better.... I don't know how yet.  Hopefully, he understands that I am human and have the right to feel the way I do.

On to more business: a local awards show came again this year and it's the first year I was not nominated.  I'm quite hurt by this as I don't feel there was a fair count of nominations and I don't feel that it was fairly put together by the organization that counted the votes.

Rumor has it that I could have BOUGHT my nomination as some salons, businesses and individuals did.  There is even rumor of someone shutting me out and buying out my votes for the mere fact to guarantee a SNUB at the awards ceremony.

I don't know what the last two weeks has taught me!

Am I a glutton for punishment by putting too much interest in what others think of me? 

or ...

Am I being attacked?

I think it's a pure mix of both.

Love lost -that's one thing.  I can move on and wait for it to find me, but truth is, I'm very tired and very jaded thanks to an ex or two that left me with ZERO trust in the romance department.  It is absolutely agonizing to talk about it.

Awards- you know what? I have many.  I also have a fucking amazing career.  I don't need a paper, a plaque or anyone's approval to know I fucking matter.  My business is through the roof right now!  Absolutely amazing clients grace my books and that's what matters.  I'm also on fire right now with booked comedy gigs and still getting invited to the biggest, most elaborate functions in this area and industry wide.  

I've said it once, twice and many times: I have a PERFORMER's schedule.  Always a place to be and always people to entertain and schmooze with.

Reputation- I did not do myself any justice this weekend when it comes to reputation.  Word is that I'm "intimidating" and "boisterous".

To me, those are perception.  People that know me don't say shit like that.  People that are LOOKING IN to my life have another view of some person they've read about and heard about.  They could never and WOULD never be good friends to me or anyone.

For once in my life I feel defeated.  The ego can only take so much of a beating.  Frankly, I don't want to stroke the fires anymore and wish to move on silently.  

If that means no more texting friends, so be it, but I don't think punishing them will do anything except reflect how hurt I feel.  Right now, I need my friends.

Taking a break from my life is no longer an option.  In the past, I would go on these "hiatuses" called "JRy Hiatus".  I'm tired of those.

Something everyone is going to have to understand is that I am here! 

I have to follow my advice I give others almost daily: "wake up, say thank you, put your make up on, do your hair and get dressed and seize the day."

Sometimes, I hate LISTENING to my own advice....

I was telling my mom that from time to time in my life and career, I have felt like a dark angel who's wings have been ripped off repeatedly.  Every time I am thrown from Heaven, I come back stronger and wiser and with much larger wings that carry me further than the Heavens and I will NOT stop til I am so far up that only the stars will be my friends.

Take that for what you will, but I'm flapping now....

Respectfully,

J

Inside Studio JRy: To my fairy godmother, Joan Rivers.

Good morning friends,

It's about 2:30 am on a Thursday morning.  

I had a wonderful day in the salon, no really.  It was fabulous.  Today was a day of Guest Artistry at another salon I do a lot of work with.

I have so much fun hanging out and working in other salons that are not my own.  I often refer to them as my "field trips".  It's kind of like when you go to your friends home and you want to help them do dishes or help out in their kitchen.  Why on Earth would you want to?  

Because it breaks up the everyday monotony of living our daily lives, that's why.

Today I had some fabulous color clients and a wonderful lunch with a long-time client of mine and each new guest that came in today was incredibly happy with color.  I can't ask for more, you know?

Wednesday nights have turned into comedy nights for me doing open mics and performing stand-up comedy.  I love it so much, but between Guest Artistry and having to catch up on office work, I had to duck out tonight and be a responsible business owner.  Sometimes that blows, ya know? LOL.

I have to tell you that I have enjoyed calming down a bit because my summer was 4 months of non-stop, balls to the walls bookings.  I am so incredibly grateful to The Creator and my clientele for the opportunity to serve them and be in business!  Really! I am.

Do any of you remember the age you were when you started to take a panoramic view of your life and say, "it's okay to take a day away?"

I think I'm hitting that age when I have realized staying home,  cooking and yes, even doing my own dishes is good for me. 

In my spoiled, privileged little world of assistants, housekeepers, florists and paid-for trips, I look forward to sometimes being a real person.  Then, I wake up the next day to appreciating all I've been given.

One of my main influences and main mentors Joan Rivers recently passed away and I have to tell you that I have been thinking a lot about our time together and the blessing I had of working with a comedy and style legend. She was so fun and so polite.  She was not brash and was not rude, she had manners and treated everyone equally. 

You never wanted to cross Joansie though because she'd publicly annihilate you.  

She has a scene in her 2010 documentary "Piece of Work" where she says that for 47 years there had been a car downstairs waiting for her and for 47 years she never had to worry about anything.  She had ups and downs, she had to file for bankruptcy after Edgar's suicide and deal with Melissa not talking to her and lost major contracts because "nobody wanted to hear from the comedienne that lost her husband to suicide."

She was truly one of the most thankful people I ever met and was one of the hardest working people I ever knew.  She never wanted to retire.

The night before she went into cardiac arrest, she was playing a small comedy gig in New York and she had intentions of filming more "Fashion Police" and working with Jerry Seinfeld on the second season of his TV show that interviews comedians.

Before meeting Joan, I had a time-limit on projects.  After that, I learned you could work and enjoy your work into your 80s.  She really meant the world to me after that.

I still cry thinking about the moments we exchanged stories and jokes.  It was a riot!  My nervous little hand worked on her hair and I had so much fun listening to her candid honesty.

When you hear someone say, "listen to your elders", I truly learned that lesson working with Joan.  She talked, you fucking listened!

More life experience than me, more ups, downs and extraordinary opportunities given to her than many of you reading this.  

So, in my calmest moments, I can hear Joan telling me to enjoy the night at home and to get my ass back up and working and thanking God for every opportunity.

I don't have a car waiting for me every morning, but I do have a lot of people waiting for me daily and I have not had to beg a person to sit in my chair in many many years... at least eight years. I've been published, I've won awards for both my writing and color work and have had the opportunity to host events and work in media as a personality.  

Thank you Joan.  I will never stop.

And thank you to all of you that are reading this now.  Thank you for allowing me to sit in my beautiful home and type this on a new Mac while listening to commercial-free paid radio.  Without you, this all disappears.

Warmth,

Josh

PS: I miss you Joansie.  Thank you for being my fairy godmother.

Inside Studio JRy: #30on30

Good morning friends,

It's literally 4:30 am as I type this. I swore I was going to go back to bed, but I have to tell you that it was not my intention to fall asleep tonight after work.  I got home about 7pm and fell asleep in front of the TV.  I was supposed to head out to an open-mic and practice some comedy, but sadly Mister Sandman won.

I have had so much fun getting to know the men involved in comedy.  There are few women as well, but there are a few individuals in the group that I have began bonding with and forming friendships I never thought would happen.

It's funny to me to see how things have changed and see to where things are at in my life.

Recently, I celebrated my 30th birthday.  Now, to the public I have been 30/31 for the past three years or so because I don't answer specifics when answering questions, but I did kind of make it a big deal that my 30th was this year and I wanted it to be something completely polar opposite than my celebratory 20s.

I can vividly recall my favorite birthday of my 20s being at age 24 and I had bottle service, a full cocktail party and dinner at an exclusive lounge and a custom-DJ set.  It was a very expensive party, but I felt that that was what the "Rockstar Stylist" life was about.  After that birthday, all the next ones in a row were horrible disasters and last year came to a screeching halt when I was told that the person I was interested in was not interested in me minutes after having dinner with my family.

Can you even imagine?  

Beyond heartbreak.

So, this whole past year I had told my mom "no birthday, no birthday".  No presents, no party, no dinner, no nothing...

You know what? That's exactly what happened.  A lot of people found it bittersweet or a melancholy attempt to accept the age of 30, but of course, my Twitter obsessed ass had to hashtag #30on30.

This year was balls to the walls busy as my birthday fell on a Saturday and I just could not imagine saying no to all those wonderful color clients of mine.  

I worked so hard on Saturday, I was double-booked back to back most of the day and got home.  I stopped at the deli on the way and got a turkey sandwich and celebrated with a turkey sandwich and a nap.  ooooh... fun!

After a reapplication of powder, I set off to my favorite watering whole that I am often seen at.

I sat at the bar and was surprised that it was not busy. (my birthday luck, right?)

Just as Garbo walked into her first speaking scene and ordered a whisky, I sat down and ordered a club soda and began to contemplate what libation was gonna take me into Sunday morning last-call.

From behind me came a set of hands and a "happy birthday!" - a very excited one at that.

I turned around and it was my crush.

SIDENOTE: Let me back up and tell you that I have not talked about this much because it's not anything big.  I have been getting to know a very smart 21-year old guy that is sweet and smart.  We are not dating, but I would be interested in dating him.  We have not discussed it seriously, but I know he knows.  Also, he's okay with that.  Time will only tell what we are whether it's friends, more than a crush or acquaintances. I certainly DO NOT want to be acquaintances.  For all literary purposes and blogs, he shall be known as "my crush" or "my friend, the crush".

BACK TO STORY......

I was so happy he showed up as I had invited him out for drinks.  We talked and joked and talked and joked and ate late night food and continued on. 

My friend that owns the bar joined us with a few drinks and we welcomed the midnight hour talking, laughing and being friendly. I really, honestly couldn't have asked for more.

My friend the bartender knows I like this guy.  He was also having a labor day tea party.  I took a chance and asked "my friend, the crush" if he wanted to go with me.  He said yes.

As last call came and I was finally feeling all my drinks settle, my friend took me home and asked me how my birthday was and honestly, I answered: "a calm delight".

I loved it.

As the labor day party approached, I was awkwardly excited to attend my friends party and have my friend, the crush meet people.  I know it was probably a little awkward for him and he was very well aware that I was happy to have him there.  

My friend the bartender, that hosted the party with his partner was very kind and loves talking to my crush.  They have become friends and I know that no matter what, we love hanging out.  The more the merrier.

So, what I can tell you about greeting 30 is that I have learned I don't want to be like my 20s.  I was always spending more money than I had and getting too drunk and saying stupid shit or holding in my feelings from the one I was with or was pursuing.  

I have made a vow that I don't want to be that person anymore.  

It's crazy for those that know me because as most of you have picked up even in my writing is that I don't hide details or have secrets, but know that my private life is very private and I don't discuss the behind-the-scenes actions of my loved ones.  It's not fair to them. 

In fact, writing this much about "The crush" is kind of pushing it for me, but I just want him to know how complimentary it is to me that he has gotten to know me and that I enjoy hanging out with him.

My vows in my 30s are the following:

-say yes to every opportunity, without prejudice.

-listen before I speak.

-walk away from conflict and discuss later.. over wine.

-tell people how you REALLY FEEL about them (this is good and bad).

-try not to get involved in salacious gossip.... and do not create it.

-take time away from the public.

-live passionately.  Time goes fuckin' fast.

-be authentic.

-be a better brother and a better friend.

Anyway, to the two men that celebrated my birthday with me, thank you.  I adore you both.  

Here's to #30on30

-josh

Inside Studio JRy: The Glass House called "Josh"

Hi my friends,

How are you?  It's about 1:30 am as I sit and type this.

I have to tell you, this day was busy busy busy.  In fact, if I had three words to describe my life: it would be "busy busy busy".

For me, there's much involved in owning a small business and maintaining a busy clientele.  I have to tell you: it's been rather liberating not focusing on outside work like educating for a major brand or managing interns, etc.

I find it sad sometimes that I haven't had the MONUMENTAL breakout I thought I would at 30, but truly, to be known in my community and to be able to make a difference is what matters to me at this time in my life.

Tonight was really awesome because I literally got to come home and make some food and relax.  I brought some paperwork with me to work on, but before that, I sat down and turned on a guided meditation.  In the midst of a deep moment where I could literally feel my soul swirling around my body (think of the times you feel you've had an out of body experience), I received a message from a friend needing some help.

I finished my meditation and placed my mala beads on the table and looked at my message.  It was one of those messages that conjure feelings of compassion and a small sense of urgency to know what's up at that exact moment.

I called my friend and got the scoop.  About an hour later, my friend met me at my home.  As many of you know, I rarely let people into my home.  I am super protective of my space.  I felt the guard go down and felt at this time it was NOT my job to be a talker, but to listen.  I just feel this deep need from the universe lately to breathe deeply and listen.

Last week, even though busy, it was somewhat challenging.  I can't elaborate much, but to let you know that I had a screaming match with a former friend and client.  It was late at night and I felt that the person came in with a very apparent need to attack me verbally.  After a couple drinks in my system and in his, it became a commercial for a horrible Bravo show and I yelled back at him as he screamed to me the words "egotistical", "dick", "prick", "diva", "high maintenance".

He expressed to me that I am not relatable and that I am hard to get along with.  This is NOT a new evaluation of me.  I never knew a person that was powerful in their career or community that was prominent that was not hard to get along with.  I think about people I admire like Vidal Sassoon, Madonna and Martha Stewart.  All of these famous faces built empires and it was not because they were easy pills to swallow.

Nothing comes of people easy to get along with.  Honestly, to make a difference and have a mission statement, you MUST have standards and MUST be a ball-buster.  I didn't say you had to be rude and off-putting, but having integrity has gotten the above three major notoriety in their chosen fields.

I refuse to think that just because I live in Pueblo, Colorado and work out of a private studio that I am any less important than Vidal, Madonna or Martha.

I personally think my ex-client was having a hard day, we both had a lot to drink and he came in ready to attack because he had a hard day and had to lay it on someone.  I was the someone.

Sadly, as this situation presented itself, I didn't feel I acted appropriately since I hold myself on such a pedestal of class and etiquette, but I do believe that if someone attacks you, you HAVE THE RIGHT to attack back.  HE or SHE must fire the first punch or verbal attack and then it's gloves off to annihilation.  This may not be the most peaceful way of dealing with people or conflict, but I believe that in every situation there is a winner and loser and I believe it's all based on perception.

Looking at this as a third-party, I don't think anyone won.  I see two drunk, dominant men having a pissing contest.  I left the bar and went home.  This man attacked my Twitter account and business number with derogatory messages.

Did I take the high road? No.  But I removed myself from the situation.  I do believe in my heart I dealt with it better and the messages I received show that I removed myself from further engaging in stupidity and elementary behavior.

As I evaluated this situation and saw my actions this past weekend, I have always known and have always said to people, I know I'm tired and fatigued if I drink heavily.  This past weekend was no exception. I hate the feeling of over drinking.  We've all done it and all made asses of ourselves, but I have learned to recognize this behavior as the years have gone by.

If I'm yelling in bars, it's time to take a break.  So tonight was a welcome break.  Sometimes sitting at home and making meals for the week (and freezing some) make my day so much better. Yes, I am the happy homemaker at home believe it or not.  I love prepping menus and working in my kitchen, it's calming to me.

I also love talking to my friends.

This man's behavior and comments towards me are so far from actually knowing who I am behind the facade and image I have branded for myself.  He thinks of me as difficult when really I am a good friend and a good son.  He just hasn't proven to me that he should see inside the glass house called "Josh Cooley".  That is a holy place for people I deem holy enough to enter.

His hurt toward me is a reflection of me not making a genuine connection with him beyond drinks or a haircuts.  It would piss me off too.

Although, when I think of what Vidal, Madonna, Martha or even my deep inner integrity would say, I can gladly and confidently tell you: I'm not for everyone.  One day he'll realize that.  I'm not open to everyone and my guard is up because I have no time for people that use hurtful words and brash behavior directed exclusively at me to get my attention.

I don't have to try that hard to get attention.  Besides, my own attention is reserved to my business and closest confidantes.

Much love,

Josh 

Inside Studio JRy: Late Night Thoughts

Happy wee hours of the morning to you friends,

It is about 2am as I sit in my living room at Studio JRy and type.

It's so funny to me when a late night surge of energy comes to me and conjures so many random thoughts, feelings and ambitions.

I am neither a night owl nor a morning person, I'm just Josh and Joshes (if you're not familiar) like to stay up late, sleep a few hours and wake early and cook breakfast and read their Twitter feeds. LOL, but truly, there is no stopping me especially after a crusher of a day (like the one I had yesterday)!

Too many times, someone will ask me when I make time for myself and truly it's the late nights like this that I am truly calm.  Right now, I'm sipping iced coffee and almond milk.  Don't worry! It's not as much coffee as you're thinking; there's more coffee-flavoring than anything spiking my organic almond beverage.

Today, my new computer arrived and truly, I had been kind of sad since my last one took a shit about a year ago.  I've maintained blogging on iPads, but truly there is nothing like a keyboard to really get me going! Vroom-vroom....

I recently invested/gifted myself a MacBook for the sake of blogging, writing more material for comedy, editing my draft formally of my manuscript and loading in a much-needed version of quickbooks (at the request of my accountant).

Blogging has always been a part of my life.  I look at 2014 though and see that the entries were not as constant and that people had lost some interest in "Rockstar Slums" even though it has 31,000 readers.  Yes- you read that figure correctly!

After approximately 500 blog entires, I am shutting the door on my product reviews and beauty favorites.  The magazine-style of writing on "Rockstar Slums" no longer thrills me nor does it get the feedback this blog gets.

In 2012, my then-best friend named the blog and since we had our falling out, I cannot bring myself to open that site up or even write anymore.  It reminds me of him and all our fights and our unfortunate falling out.

I rarely stop doing something because someone "hurt" my feelings, but honestly, I can't deal with how much he hurt me everytime I have a fucking flashback while reviewing lipstick, face masks and books I'm reading.  That kind of jaded feeling is like a pair of handcuffs that someone placed on as a practical joke or in a sense of vindictiveness.

I really do believe saying goodbye to all those eyes will only be a break as I have a new project up my sleeve for 2015. I'm sure you're going to enjoy the new project that hits the internet close to Valentine's Day.

As for ex-besty, I'm sure he's not reading anymore, but I don't want anymore credit given to him or anymore reminders. He's moved on and I haven't fully yet and this is a step I have to take for my own well-being.

Comedy is so much fun, friends!  I never wanted to Joan Rivers or Dean Martin, but they are both inspirations to me.

I recently got booked as a featured comedian in September for an event and cannot wait!  I have 10 whole minutes of comedy awaiting me.  10 minutes in the comedy world is a VERY long time.  Between weekly open-mics and prepping for this event plus my fourth year of presenting and judging at Dancing with the Pueblo Starz, I cannot think of a adding blogs at this time or even focusing on closing one site down officially. It's been fun going onstage and spitting silly words at people.

The fact that people listen and like me is still beyond me.  I have a very direct style of talking about sex, gayisms, poor people and weight problems.  It's not everyone's cup of tea, but they sure are drinking the Cooley Kool-Aid these days!

....it feels good.



The salon is doing amazingly well and I cannot tell you how many times I have thanked the Universe, Jesus, Krishna and my guests for the abundance I have received.

I really believe (brace yourself, spirituality coming) that The Creator gives us moments to shine when our hearts are deeply wounded and broken.

Andrew walking out of my life was devastating to me. We both were nasty to each other and will point the finger at one another still.  I simply didn't speak to him anymore and he made it very clear on the internet and to many sources he did not care for me or my friendship anymore.  It was real blow, friends.

All the energy that goes into crying and sulking went into my business.  Lucille Ball and Greta Garbo are notorious actresses that both said it was work that got them through difficulties in their personal lives.  I believe that whole-heartedly.

I think my adjustments, improvements and major success as of late can be contributed to the negative energy in the form of a man walking out of my life.  I should thank him, but I feel like that's giving him too much glory at this time.

Recently aware of his moving to another city, I attempted to congratulate him and he just stood there stiff lipped and made me feel like shit.

I shortly left the establishment we both "coincidentally" happened to be in and knew at that point the nail was in the coffin.

I heard from a friend he asked about me, but does not want to be friends ever again.

Talk about hatefulness and solitude.

The solitude I long for is for concentration only, not hate. His is full of vindictiveness.

Oh friends... what more to say? I wish I could share my success with someone, but right now, this silence, these transitions, the abundance is a lesson I will master.

God throws curve balls and thankfully I had my glove on and was ready to catch. Each time I slip and pick myself up, I can feel him pat me on the back and say "good one", "good game", "let's do it again".  There is no "hit the showers" for me.

I haven't gotten dirty enough yet to be sent away.

I guess I just wanted to take this moment of vulnerability to tell you what's on my brain.

Wow! All that from sipping almond milk?

Not too bad.

-Josh

Inside Studio JRy: Breaking The Silence (Part 2)

Good evening friends!

How are you this evening? It's Monday night about 11:00 pm as I type this and I'm sitting with a half a cup of lukewarm coffee and settled creamer, iPhone to my side and 70s Lite Rock playing on the stereo.

I had the chance to take a gander at the ratings for this very blog from our last entry "Breaking The Silence (Part 1)" and astonishingly, that entry broke the record on this blog for being the most read entry. It does not surprise me, I have to say!

I love that you all have such an intimate view into my life. I really do. Now, the part is that I don't like nosey people or people that try to pry into my business.

I feel like blogging became such a big deal to me because I was always writing in a journal or writing a column or a poem and I wanted to take the facade down of being a stuffy writer or a fashion writer years ago and open my life to people that not only came to me in the salon, but to strangers on the internet that sometimes find my adventures more fascinating that sometimes I even do.

In the age of reality tv and tweeting, there are no secrets as you know!

Now, to get back where we left off: I talked about moving on from someone very close to me and I think that mostly the ratings were due to people wanting to know the "juicy" details and sadly, even after I re-read my own blog, I can't say that there's any. In fact, even when I try to divulge the naked truth these days, I try to hold the other person up with a little dignity because I know I would want the same... even if he is just some dirty son of a bitch!

LOL.

So, onto what I've been up to:

1. COMEDY

I have taken up a few new things that make me very happy and one of them is stand-up comedy.

I literally just got the whim one time to attempt it and failed miserably the very first time. I have now after some time (about six months) have my form down and have found my voice. I laugh because what I used to tweet and say in blogs I now save for the mic on Wednesday nights and I have to tell you: that's a fun hobby to me.

I don't have aspirations of being Joan Rivers in the next decade, but I also don't knock others for being passionate about pursuing it as a full-time gig!

I think if you're a good writer, have a great grasp of the English language and timing, you're gonna be fine. The performing aspect is where people fall flat! You HAVE TO bring energy and you HAVE TO be able to read an audience and get them involved.

Years ago, before I was an art school student, I was a performer! My background was in improv comedy and writing screenplays and original scripts and performing one-man shows. I was also a dancer when I was younger and as I step on stage Wednesday nights, I channel 16/17/18/19 year old Josh and relive it the energy of being funny and getting someone's attention for five minutes.

When I worked hair shows and classes and present at events locally, I still get the same sense of accomplishment.

For me, once a week, I still get butterflies.

I like that. I like the feeling of having a rumbly tummy and sweaty palms before going up. I LIKE telling inappropriate jokes and having wine with the crowd after and talking. Their smile radiate back and I love having that energy given back.

Laughter to me is one of the purest forms of love. Comedy has brought back my love of performing.

2. BLOGGING

I have to be honest.... taking a 10 week break from blogging felt good. It also affected my tweeting and facebooking habits. learned that social media is just that! It's fun, but REAL people is where it's at!

Yes, I love the attention!

Yes, I love that people read both blogs.

Yes, "Rockstar Slums" has 30,000 readers a month.

I love a more honest form of blogging though. I love THIS essay style of writing and do not love the product reviews or magazine-style format anymore and have decided that come fall 2014, I will be ending "Rockstar Slums" officially.

There's two reasons for this:

1. The Studio JRy blog is where my heart is at and more honest to WHO I AM (you're reading that now) --- also, I want to finishing editing my manuscript officially this year and too many projects and people have stifled the creative process for me.

2. "Rockstar Slums" was named by the person I described in the last entry. I don't want to continue on with a project that reminds me of him. I think I want to end on a high-note and end shortly after my birthday next month. I think it's time to search for another column opportunity as well... I would like to shop the idea of a new column to a few publications and freelance for a paper again or a larger blog as a contributor.

3. FRIENDS

I have so many beautiful friends in my life right now and I love that I don't have to see them everyday to be happy to see them. I also want the opportunity to date and relish the moments of enjoying someone's company.

I don't believe that good relationships start with a hook-up or a drunken evening. You have to get to know someone and become friends first.

Those same butterflies I get during comedy are the butterflies I want when I write a piece or see my friends or my date when I'm out...

So, honestly, friends, I guess what I can say as part of breaking the silence, I also want to break some habits.

I want to enjoy life for real. Not just on the internet or behind the chair. I have built a brand for 8 years now and will continue to do so (it comes easy to me!), but I want to start enhancing the intimate areas in my life....

How bad could that be?

Not bad at all, I say.

-J

Inside Studio JRy: Breaking The Silence (Part 1)

Good evening friends,

I want to start this entry first by saying I'm terribly sorry for abandoning you as readers. There's so much that has gone on in the last 10 weeks that I want to inform you of that I have shared with friends and selected clients and family members.

SECTION 1: PERSONAL

10 weeks ago, I made a decision to no longer continue a connection in my life that was so deep to my heart I thought I would die. In fact, the eggshells I walked on in front of and around the mere verbiage involving this person became so toxic that I knew that the last outburst, rant, sadness and scrutiny posted online about me would be the last exchange I had with this person.

This person had been a rock for me for six years and I truly want to thank him for always being my go-to person and being such a kind soul in the time that I knew him.

A lot of the time I treated this person as my other half, when in fact, we were nothing really. All you had to do was ask him or watch his actions and know he never really appreciated our bond I thought we had.

Sadly, I changed myself and lived in sometimes crazy mental states due to his reactions and hurtful words.

I do want to take this time to switch it up now and tell you: of the six years, I enjoyed 90% of the time we shared. If you ask him, you will receive jaded, sad stories and not a large amount of compliments regarding me or my behavior.

To him, I was rich, spoiled, a brat, an alcoholic and a creep. I don't agree with any of his statements and refuse to label myself any of those mentioned.

For me, he was smart, intellectual, beautiful and amazing to talk to. He was also an arrogant prick. HE knows he can be and prides himself on tearing peoples' feelings apart and making them hurt as he often does in his daily rants, sad social media posts and disregard for his family and those that supported him when it mattered most.

To sum it all up, six years of friendship, I still am happy we were friends and want him to stay healthy and safe. I hope someone shows him true love and is there for him while he grows into an adult.

After making the decision to purge his number and put pictures away and cease contact, I started evaluating everything else in my life: finances, my business and my connections.

SECTION 2: BRANDING

For those of you reading this that are clients of mine, you know that I chose to resign from the Joico brand in February 2014. I no longer felt that they had the intention to utilize me and I saw three of my friends take other brand opportunities and I also sought other representation and connection.

In April, we successfully started the conversion process to Wella color and by June, we had began carrying three exclusive brands in my salon! Wella, Aquage and GKhair are all professional brands that do not sacrifice integrity to please the public. They are TRUE to the professional and that's what I need now. I feel there was some direction lacking at the my last brand. The focus on education left and with that, I saw more beauty blogs, more ads, more diverted product and more horrible fantasy color that I just can't stomach.

To me, every brand has a responsibility to its education team to keep us in the loop and not just pamper the asses of LA and NY. Middle America and the rest of the world matter too!

It's not all fashion week and InStyle ads! It's about the hairdresser.

The art of hairdressing is NOT FOR EVERYONE!

So, as I bid farewell to Joico, I knew I was going to lose some connections and some support and I only gained more from my industry friends and Rockstars + Lambs has seen some of the best exposure and profits it's ever experienced

SECTION 3: FINANCES
In January, I began budgeting my finances harshly and have studied the art of being frugal. As a 30 year old man, I make a very good living and sometimes found myself wondering where my money was at?

How can someone as smart as me not have money in the bank?

Well, I began taking lunch to work and cooking at home again--- that was like paying myself an extra $300-400 a week! I noticed the difference immensely!

In March, I fired my accountant of six years and began searching for new financial management. I also fired my merchant credit card service provider and took control of my finances with a nifty little device called "Square" (you've read about it!)

I also updated the salon's database to a fully operating electronic database and began tracking color usage and even re-evaluated pricing and portion control.

All of this has added to thousands more in my pocket, better inventory management and MORE retail in the salon.

I cannot tell you how good it feels to pay people off, pay debts off and begin saving and living again.

SECTION 4: NUTRITION
It's been about three months since I made a 90% switch over to pescetarianism full-time. I can't shake fish fully yet, but my goal is to be a functioning vegetarian in the next few years. I still believe in a "free day" and when I am with family on Sunday, I say "anything goes"!

If it's meatballs, hand 'em over! If its bacon, that goes too!

It's one day a week eating land meat! That's much better than 7 days of allowing multiple flesh and corpses to decompose in my gut... imagine!

My mood has changed!

My emotions are level.

My stress is nearly non-existent.

......10 weeks have taught me to be good to me and take care of me.

So, for now... I want to tell you all: I needed the space away to live. I also needed to digest my spiritual and emotional divorce.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2 OF THIS ENTRY, that's enough for now.


-Josh

JRy Takes On... Integrity [V1.9]

Good evening friends,

I'm back and talking about a hard-hitting topic that sometimes I fall deeply skewed in my own views about. I literally border on the edge of judgment when talking about it: integrity.

There is so much going on in my brain tonight that contradicts itself and that meshes all together in a cloud of confusion for me. Integrity, for me, is not always the most popular trait to exude to your friends and peers and also, it's the first thing people pick on when you fall from grace.

People will say: "I don't know what flew up Josh's ass", if I put my my foot down; or they can say: "Josh's head is up his ass lately", if I fall from grace and do not uphold my own personal integrity.

See how Catch 22 this area of life can become?

Let's look at three definitions of integrity:
1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
2. the state of being whole and undivided.
Finally, 3. a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcomes.

Whew!

This is a biggie!

Basically with me being a Virgo, I can tell you that integrity slides on the edge of being discriminatory, sometimes judgmental and often times, critical in order for me to make conscience and morally-acceptable decisions for my own existence.

Here's what the "Joshtionary" says about integrity:

1. No secrets, no lies, always blatantly honest even when not taken popularly (especially) in decision making.
2. Knowing for sure the difference between right and wrong.
3. Being consistent in matters of lifestyle choices, ethics in business, and personal relationships.

My integrity sometimes turns into my most hated character trait. I have oftentimes lost friends because of it.

Recently, I read a quote from Iyanla Vanzant that said when you love someone and they're behavior is unacceptable, you should tell them about it.

There is so much in my brain at this moment when I think about my close friendships and life in terms of personal confidantes and acquaintances.

One thing that sections me off from getting to know people is the fact that I am mentally sifting out their bad and their good traits from the first verbal exchange and their body language. There is no scale, no universal measure that is used except my own discretion. One might say, I judge and critique too fast, I would say that I am working out if this is a good connection to have in my life or not.

One friend of mine recently told me that I was no fun to hang out with for the mere fact that I am negative and critical and do not like to have fun. Well, what defines "fun"?

For me, meeting new people in a crowded club with shirtless boys is no fun: it's fucking bonkers and does my head in. It's not my scene.

Another friend recently told me that if I ever wanted to be happy I would have to accept that nobody is perfect and until I see that, I will either be alone or have to drop my standards. This may explain why she bangs anything that buys her a drink.

Lastly, I have had business coaches tell me through the years that just because someone complains doesn't mean they don't like me or respect me, but that I need to be open to change. That's all cool, but what about them?

In reading these above examples, you may be thinking: "Josh, you need to take a chill pill and quit being a fucking prude."

If you thought that, I have to question YOUR idea of integrity... maybe our standards are not weighed the same.

As you see (in that slightly confrontational sentence), integrity is weighed and understood differently to each and every individual.

So, let me sum up the good parts of being "picky" and listening to my integrity: it shows me all I need to know about me. It shows that I have very high expectations and that even I can affirm to you all that it's not always so welcoming getting to know me or for me to accept others. (I didn't see it til I proof read, actually)

The other thing I can tell you about integrity is this: it's always going to be questioned and up for debate.

In short, integrity is a line in the sand for anyone and all your connections. Either people will agree with your decisions or they will not.

A clear sign of a bad connection in your life is if someone gets defensive with you and you are merely exercising your integrity and listening to your moral compass. Those people that get angry and agitated are probably not a good fit for you... in any close capacity.

See why I called this subject "complicated" and "contradictory"?

-JRy

Got a topic you want me to tackle? email me jcooley@fastmail.co.uk or tweet me @studiojry

JRy Takes On... Passover [V1.8]

Good evening friends!

There are two major things happening at the beginning of this week as I type this:

1. Passover (yay!)
2. Tax Day (pa-tooey!)

So, for many of you that know me, you know that I observe the Jewish holidays. I could backtrack a lot and tell you multiple reasons why (which will probably happen), but I'm going to keep it short and simple so I can take on why I wanted to blog about the holiday known as "passover".

When I took the time to study my genealogy, I stumbled upon generations old family members, surnames and origins that captivated me. I always knew I was a Spanish kid on my mom's side and for the most part, I was raised very Mediterranean and was taught to love all people and respect culture.

When I traced back a line of my ancestry back to Southern Spain, I was informed that my family had been kicked out of the country during the inquisition. My family, like so many other Sephardics at the time jumped over to Morocco and came back to Andalucia later on and continued on with their life as Catholic Spaniards and moved on to Mexico and other parts of North America.

My mom and dad were both of different faiths when they married and still are. They are also two different ethnic backgrounds.

You have my mom who is a Spanish Roman Catholic and my Mormon father. Cooley is an Irish surname and so I'm just letting you all know: a white mormon + a Spanish Catholic = Josh Cooley, a gay Sephardic JewBu (lol).

Genetic math is crazy like that, ya know?

I went to catechism like most catholic kids and studied The Bible and loved it. I was always interested in the metaphysics of God and miracles. When I turn 17, I started studying Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) and became enthralled in it! I loved it and still do study hardcore to this day.

My parents told my sister and I that when we were 18, we would choose whatever religion we wanted to be. So, for me, I began studying Eastern philosophy, Yoga, Hinduism, Buddhism and stayed true to my Kabbalah studies.

Through time, I started to see all paths of faith as a full-circle wheel to God, the Divine and living a life of lovingkindess.

You've heard that word before if you've spoken to me and have read about it on this very blog. Lovingkindness to me is about compassion and understanding your fellow human. It's about sharing. It's about giving to the energy in another soul and sharing your gifts with the world without prejudice or ego. Lovingkindness sees the world not as a glass half full or half empty, but rather, we see the glass for what it is: a vessel.

A vessel needs to be filled. You can choose to fill it with toxins and drink the poison life hands you or you can fill it with The Light of the Creator and become a beacon for others. Every time you share with someone and it fulfills you, it is as if you were taking some Light from your vessel and pouring it into your friends vessel. We all Light up and all glow together!

How cool is that?

So, with that concept being the basis of my spirituality, I found more fulfillment in the Jewish holidays. For one, I liked the stories. Also, my Kabbalah teachers were able to put the concepts of Passover and Chanukah and Sukkot into everyday terms I could fathom as "real life scenarios".

Keep it mind, alot of Orthodox Jews do not love the fact that there are seculars like me that study mysticism and do not go to Temple. However, I have to inform them at only 46% of Jews actually attend synagogue. It's a statistic! Most people that are into spirituality are not necessarily religious.

Religion can become a bit of a dictatorship and a gate-keeper to the heavens. I prefer to look at all the ritualistic aspects of religion like Shabbat and holidays and look at the deeper meaning of how I can manifest that beautiful Divine energy into my life.

So, let's take tonight for example: Passover.

In The Bible, Passover is the time when we remember the Israelites fleeing the captivity of slavery in Egypt. The angle of death "passes over" all the homes that are marked with a lamb's blood while everyone else child gets slain in this horrible massacre throughout Egypt. That's too much for me! Too gory.

To debate the historical relevance of this is not my goal in this blog. To tell you why pass over means so much to me is the point.

From a Kabbalah philosophy, here's how I see Passover:

Passover is a time of transformation.

Egypt is the ego. Ego often leads us to become a "slave" to our lifestyles and to our Twitter followers, diets, secular lives and bank accounts. Think about it: isn't life full of suffering and stress?

No one said it HAD to be like that. In fact, I know in my heart the Creator wants us to be happy and fulfilled. If we were really a bunch of heathens, he could smite us all quickly. But, the other aspect of that notion is that the Creator does NOT have to smite us when humanity does it to themselves!

Daily, we tear down other people. Daily, we call people out their names using cusswords and put-downs. Daily, we toxify ourselves with parabens, poisons and addictive substances. Daily, we ignore that phone call from a loved one that may need our help... you catch the drift?

That, in and of itself is part "Egypt" (ego). It's self-serving behavior that does not benefit anyone.

Passover reminds us that we need to make sacrifices to live a truly humble and divine life. For some, it may mean saying "no" to that last shot at the bar or saying "no" to that addictive behavior that keeps us in the dark ally of our lives.

For me, passover is a time of growth each year to look at my life and say: "how can I express MORE lovingkindess to the world."

How can I flee Egypt peacefully? No lamb needed.

It means, changing my nature. Not over time, but today.

Passover is like a "soul check-in point" with The Creator and my intuition that reminds me to pump my breaks and live life as a beautiful human being that is worth of all the gifts this world can give and all the gifts that I, personally, can give the world.

Egypt was a beautiful empire. The Ego is a fun place to be when you are living on top, but very few made a difference that made an absolute impact on the souls of others when they were living in the shadow of their own egos.

So, this Passover, I ask you all to just take a moment and think: what am I a slave to in my life? Then.... change it.

Warmly/ Pesach Semeach,
Joshua

Inside Studio JRy: Two Years Later

Inside Studio JRy: Two Years Later

This past Thursday, I celebrated two years of being in business.

I have so many thoughts that probably contrast and go against each other, but these past two years have been revealing.

They're so revealing to me in the sense that I cannot believe how fucking stupid I was thinking that since I was a salon manager and sought-after stylist years ago that I could just throw caution to the wind and open a salon.

I could hear the insistent "build it and they will come"-fantasy echo in my head every single day until the day I signed the lease on the property that would become my salon.

I remember I signed the property lease, announced it on Facebook and on my website and then waited for Sunday to tell my parents what I had done. It was horrific! I felt that I was a brand new balloon craving oxygen and they did not want to be the air that supported my dream.

They asked me real questions.

They asked me about revenue.

They asked about my savings and tax situation and asked about my budgeting and my clientele base. All of these questions seemed so goddamned annoying to me. I never even gave them a chance to mentor me. My parents have been business owners for nearly 40 years and I was sitting there like a brat.

Let's fast-forward to 21 months later and the salon had decent numbers, decent money coming in and I still felt like I was spinning my wheels from month-to-month. I had to go to my parents for some advice on budgeting, inventory and overall business ethics. All three of those categories are categories and subjects people think I have a great understanding of.

Yes, I do.

But let me tell you about most people that come off as perfect: they are often very very flawed in their lives.

Sad, but true.

I strive for perfection every single day and one thing I forgot to listen to was my own voice. I was so busy having my head up my own as and ego the first year that by the time the 1-year anniversary came around, I was fucking spent, jaded and angry for no apparent reason.

This second year of business, I walked into my salon with fresh eyes as I took on celebrity clientele, went to California to work and began writing the draft for my first salon industry book. The difference is astounding!

The one area I had not mastered yet was finances!

I have had to make sense of the fact that I overspend and overcommit and blame everyone else for it.

So, to make this blog entry a little more light-hearted, I put myself on a challenge. I challenged myself to re-budget, pay down debt and start doing little things like getting very strict about inventory at the salon and taking lunch to work and working on mediating and exercising more.

I found that if I took more time to hit the gym and meditate, I didn't have as much time to go out and binge drink (which is a very expensive habit to have). I also found that cooking at home gave me a sense of self-worth and learned how to domesticate myself a bit.

Everything that I bitched about, I learned to love and learned to make an art out of.

Three months have gone by and I'm in a better head space. I try my absolutely hardest to maintain budgets, stay home a few nights a week and have learned not to take anything personally.

All of this wellbeing radiates into my business. I learned that in the first year of resenting business, I was just being an ungrateful brat and that in the second year, I discovered what the theme and niche of Rockstars + Lambs was.

There's 1 part art studio and 1 part doctor's office at my salon that I love. I love the one-on-one approach of working with people. It makes me so happy. I have learned to breathe and learned that if I happen to get angry or frustrated, it's okay to walk away and if I have a gap between clients, it's okay to go for a walk and lock the door and come back before anyone else walks into my chaos.

As Thursday morning approached, I woke up and after my morning meditation and yoga, I took a deep breath and thanked everyone online for two years of support.

I didn't want to focus on anyone that may have dropped the ball, broke my heart or talked shit about me; no matter who you were and in whatever capacity, I wanted to thank everyone for allowing me to have this opportunity.

Tonight, I sit here typing and glance at my book of appointments and look at emails and calls that are still waiting for a reply... those are MY messages, no one elses.

Everything I own, I own outright and everything I am working towards is what guides my desire.

I never want this feeling to end whether it's at Rockstars + Lambs, in my writing, meditating or simple state of being.

For that, I'm truly thankful.


-JRY

JRy Takes On... Pueblo Night Life [V1.7]

Good evening friends,

Wow! Talk about an informal hiatus! It has been about five weeks since I last wrote about "music" in the last edition of this blog. I am so glad that I finally have the opportunity to sit in front of the computer and blog.

You all have given me some fabulous topics to discuss and the one that came in tonight was per request back in December from my client Heather. She asked me to discuss night life in Pueblo, Colorado.

A lot of you locals reading this may be rolling your eyes because you're thinking that there is absolutely nothing to do here. I can agree to this sentiment to an extent.

Some of you would say that with our standing as having the highest DUI rate in the state of Colorado and the highest amount of bars per capita that all we do is binge-drink... and again I would have to agree with you.

Some of you would blame our poverty level and unemployment rate as contributing factors to our love of binge drinking, alcoholism, and again getting in trouble with the law, but I'm honestly going to tell you something that my friend from LA once told me: "it's all what you make of it".

Pueblo, Colorado is a community that has one of the Top 10 most popular food festivals in the country and we still don't move forward looking to enhance the landscape of events offered. Sure, there's your average watering holes, dive bars and night time events, but what is it that people keep ragging on?

I don't think they rag on actually binge drinking itself. Binge drinking is over glamorized on TV now when you see celebrities at the Golden Globes or watch a reality TV star get schnockered on camera, so I'm not going to feed into the vibe that all we do in Pueblo is get plastered and do stupid shit; I will, however tell you that it can become monotonous behavior.

For me personally, I love to enjoy a couple evenings checking emails at my favorite watering hole, The Downtown Bar, located in Central Plaza, and take in the randomness that comes with the bar scene. For the most part, I see the same people and talk about alot of daily happenings. My favorite thing to do is not get drunk, but to talk alot of shit and make people laugh. Genuinely, I love making people laugh.

What I have done with friends for the past decade I translated into stand-up comedy recently. Yes, I'm a novice, but I'm not doing too bad at it either.

My style of comedy is not the same as many of the uber-male performers that accompany me. I tend to stand out like a very well-shellacked sore thumb with Chanel nail varnish flashing in the spotlight on a small stage at the DTB on a late Wednesday night. My style of comedy is more of a storyteller with a woven punchline about my family, adventures with friends, how I grew up or even poking fun at myself.

Something I could have never done is had the opportunity to express those kind of salty-worded thoughts unless there was a stand up night mid-week.

I think when you see open mic nights like that, you see a community changing and trying to offer something different than sitting in the bar waiting for a fight or a sloppy drunk to get kicked out. How cool is that?

We have a number of events that pop up during the year held by many non-profit associations. Between food events, our version of Dancing with the Starz, the first Friday art walk and many stage productions between our multiple venues, I see some of the community trying to offer new opportunities besides a drinking fest downtown and throughout the city.

The art district does quite well at it's monthly First Friday Art Walk where people go from gallery to gallery looking at artwork, sipping wine and discussing it with another patron. The number of galleries in downtown Pueblo is growing and a really enlightening, cultural alternative to getting blasted. Now as for me, I love to visit a gallery and head out for a night of bullshitting with my friends after.

One thing we do lack though in Pueblo is late night eateries. Most restaurants shut down by 9 and 10 if you're lucky during the summer months. This is what saddens me the most. With all the great food highlighted in this community, I still see a lack of participation from local restauranteurs. They either complain about NOT BEING busy enough or complain about being TOO BUSY.

Let me tell you: being too busy is good problem to have!

Now, for some of my friends that like to dance and see shows in nightclubs, we definitely lack that "Scene" in Pueblo. That saddens me really. The only place I would even consider dancing in this area is Tracks in Denver, Colorado, but probably never would I dance in Pueblo or Colorado Springs. This area of the state is simply not enthusiastic about nightlife or breaking up the complacency.

My favorite place in the United States is the Abbey in LA. They have it down to an art! Tracks in Denver runs seamlessly as well. We simply do not have a passionate place here that wants to offer top-self experiences to dancers (as of yet).

I love going out and have been a staple of the downtown, late night scene since I was 22 years old in this community. I even had a gossip/socialist columnist write about me a few years ago calling me "Mister Downtown".

I wish life was like it is on TV in Pueblo; I would love bottle service champagne and friends spray tanned and dressed to the nines, but Pueblo is a working class town and it's bars reflect that vibe.

Here's my question to all you locals reading (it's 2 parts):
-what do you enjoy doing in Pueblo with yourself or with friends
-also, what would you like to happen to enhance Pueblo's nightlife?

I'm all ears.....

Cheers mates,
Josh

Have a subject you want me to sound off about? email me jcooley@fastmail.co.uk or tweet me @studiojry