01.11 : Look at the mirror and move on...

Good evening lambs,

It's about 11:30 pm on a Sunday evening and I am gathering my thoughts for tomorrow.  Tomorrow, I am back in my own salon after working at my friend's salon as a guest artist.  I love when I have the chance to work with her.  It's very very fulfilling. 

Tonight as I go through my schedule for the week, I see a shift in the middle of the week on Wednesday as we approach Yom Kippur.  In Judaisim, Yom Kippur is the holiest of days and the "day of atonement". 
On that day, we re-evaluate looking at the past 10 days of Rosh Hashanah and fast and pray and meditate and ask the Creator for forgiveness for any flaws or faults we may have performed in the past year.

This past year, I have been very guilty of ego, very guilty of taking my life for granted professionally and financially and have had moments of just shear abandonment from friends and clients that I channeled outward as resentment and malice. My passionate personality can turn from passionate and driven to obsession and angry in the drop of a hat.  

It's not the public's view of me that shames me or leads to guilt, it's the internal battle I have with the "opponent" (ego) inside of me.  That's kinda deep, I know.  But I do love knowing that I'm NOT perfect.  I fuck up, just like everyone else.

The difference this time in my life is that I have CAUGHT IT!  

I told a peer of mine the following story about being angry at a client and angry at a situation that wasn't dealt with properly.  After this client ransacked my Facebook with hateful messages and contacted other clients to blaspheme against me, I was at the point where I wanted to buy out my lease and leave Colorado.  No shit! For real.  I had a moment of wanting to just give the fuck up. (there's not another way to say it).

I went home, closed the shades, stood in silence, walked back and forth and prayed and silently meditated until I received an answer.  I asked, "God, the Creator, what am I missing?  What the fuck am I missing?! Tell me"  

In desperation, I was searching in my intuition, asking God, looking inward and pacing like a Sufi in circles til the energy cleared, I started to weep and received the following message:

"be patient"

I stood still, eyes red, said thank you and continued on my day in my office. 

It later hit me in an ah-ha moment that in order to be patient I had to BE PRESENT in the moment.  Be calm, take life for what it is.  Take people for who they are.  When someone shows you who they are, believe them.  All the spiritual messages I have written about or talked about came to me.  WHY WASN'T I TAKING MY OWN ADVICE?

The answer: pride.

Pride is part of ego.

Letting go of ego starts by forgiving yourself for your flaws. In order to practice patience, you cannot walk around the world looking at the clock or expecting a thing.  So, sitting in my salon, on a day where no one was scheduled began this.  Sitting in my office at Studio JRy with my phones and email open while I worked on blogs and bills for the "p" in the spelling of "patience" for me.

I'm still very impatient as a person, but I am learning that in order to get past what has happened, you HAVE TO forgive someone for what they have done.  NO MATTER how hard.

Forgiveness comes in many forms.  Mostly as a by-product of deceit or assumptions. 

When someone deceives us, we feel used.

When we assume something of someone or build them up in our brains, we feel stupid and guilty for a crime or sin we haven't even really committed.  The fantasy or assumption is the embryo of a lie.

I have had to look at petty items in my life like who has been blocked on Facebook.  Some were exes, some were former clients, some were fans of my blogs or web pressence, some were liars that wanted to deceive me and use my words against me AND my friends.

Here's what I have learned, in conclusion:

To forgive an ex, I have to accept that I do not want to be used... and move on.

To forgive a former client or business associate, I have to accept that we do not agree in my services or talent and... move on.

To forgive a "lamb" fan that took something personal.. I have to ask before I post, "is this for the betterment of my image and business"... and chose not to post and move on.

To the deceivers in this world.. I have to stop assuming.  The assumption that everyone is interested in me for the good of humanity is a fantasy! I am NOT for everyone.

But I also have to realize, they are mirrors.  If all those four archetypes are mirrors, then I am guilty of 

-giving too much

-using my ego and NOT my talent

-exposing too much

-trusting too much.

I believe that the Creator created us all as good humans that sometimes make bad choices.  I have to learn when to see a "mirror" and when I have to distinguish a genuine connection or move on...  

It is what it is.

Maya Angelou said it best: "when someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Warmth,

Josh

01.10 : Prosperity comes when you practice restriction.

L'Shanah Tovah friends!

Today is Rosh Hashanah and if you know me well, I look forward to the Jewish New Year every year.  For me, it is a time of reflection and renewal.

I have been doing alot of thinking about the last six months of my life and career.  In six months time, I have opened a business and detoxified my life in terms of associates, friends, clients and "internet" relations that do not serve me any more.  I am not saying this to be selfish, but more so, to let you know that my life is fuller than it has been even with gaps in my schedule, nights alone, and not posting my WHOLE life on Facebook and Twitter.

I took today off from the salon and have been in my robe all day and in Andrew Christian underwear looking at my weblife, salonlife and personal life.  I am very happy with the stats on both blogs and the YouTube channel and am happy to say that they will continue being part of my journey for now.  "Rockstar Slums" is my beauty blog and is doing exceptional! We have the highest demographics in the US, Germany and Russia.  Most of the fashionistas that love that blog access it from iPhones, iPads and Macs and use Safari or Safari Mobile.  This very blog has a high readership weekly and again the US, Germany and Russia are my highest demographics, but most people access me from Google Chrome and Droid operating systems.  Crazy, how big brothery the Studio JRy Creative Department is getting, isn't it?

With Rosh Hashanah being today, I have thought about my priorities. Its very clear that my worklife is my life's purpose and my priority.  Building my brand in education is key! Diane Von Furstenberg told Rachel Zoe a few years ago, "when you learn, share." 

I am in that mode lately.  Business peers, my intership program and Joico are all on deck to see what Josh Cooley and Rockstars and Lambs Ltd can bring them. My goal is to create an education network that betters stylists and the clients that LOVE their stylists. My Studio JRy Creative brand is part of this through the use of this blog, the youtube channel and writing "Living Fabulously". As you can see, it's not all about the hair for me, it's about the betterment (is that a word) of people on the inside and helping them become in-tune with their authentic selves. 

In the year 5773 (Jewish year) or for you 2012-2013, I want to travel more, share more and love more.  Those are my three goals. In order to do all three, I have undergone a financial restructuring of Rockstars and Lambs Ltd.  This does not mean ANYthing bad.  It means, I'm taking control of inventory, money that goes out and controlling HOW money comes into the business and is taxed appropriately and paid out appropriately. For this reason, the hours in the salon are going to change slightly.

I am busiest on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Fridays are wondeful as well, Mondays have a 7/8 chance of being canceled on, so I have decided to only be open two Mondays a month 1-6. Once a month, we will close early on Wednesdays at 3pm as Wednesday evening is NOT very busy in my studio. When the demand comes for more times, we will open those back up in about 4-6 months.  

For a private atelier owner like me, NOT running the lights or water while we are not with clients is financially responsible. In 5773 (2012-2013), I want to make better choices financially.  In order to share, I must have.  In order to have, I cannot waste.

Here's to a prosperous and restrictive new view of my life and business in the new year,

Josh

Visit my fashion and beauty blog: http://rockstarslums.blogspot.com

01.09 : My Saturn Return and Rosh Hashanah

Good morning Rockstars + Lambs! 

It is 7:30 on a rather cool September morning in SoCo. I am contemplating what fall fashion I will be presenting to the world on my morning walk to work in about an hour or so.  Sipping coffee, going over fashion week coverage and really taking time to reflect on past events this year in my life.

As some of you may know, Rosh Hashanah is on Monday this coming week and I am a huge participant in the High Holy Days. For me, you DON'T need to be Jewish or study Kabbalah, it's a time of renewal, a time of celebration, a time of reflection on the year past and looking forward to the year approaching and seeing what we can change in our nature and core.  The very source that drives us is not our spirituality, but our energy in this world.  Like it or not, we are ALL made of the same stuff.  Matter is matter.  Rosh Hashanah reminds me of the Creator's intention for us when he created the world millenia ago. That may be deep for some, but that is how I see this time of the year.

So, as part of my "restructure" in my life, I took time (read last blog 01.08) to re-evaluate my mission with the salon, my life and my goals.  My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I officially hit my Saturn Return.  If you're someone that studies the cosmos and astrology, you'll understand that every 28 years, Saturn ends up in the same spot it was in when YOU were born.  So, 28, 56, 84 (if you live that long). We start to look at those as milestone moments before big ages like 30, 60 and well, the afterlife. LOL.  

I have put myself on a serious debt diet and cash diet.  It has been a welcomed adjustment.  Not going out every night or every other night, cooking at home like a Food Network chef and even taking pleasure in doing my own laundry and chores.  I know, I know that sounds petty, but truly someone busy like me finds chores and daily life annoying, but when I changed my perspective and looked at the "blessing" in it, I realized... life's not too bad being mellow.

Part of the new renewed Rosh Hashanah view of my life and Saturn-look at my life has been letting go of my friends.  NOT LIKE THAT!  What I mean is, letting them go on and be who THEY need to be AND having other friendships and moving on into their own echelons. One of my dearest friends has been on my brain lately and I have had to understand deep down that the intimacy I share in words exchanged and times together are simply that, nothing more.  My search in life for a partner and my intimacy with this friend have skewed my vision of who he really is: a young man discovering himself.  I've already discovered who I was years ago.  I find it fair to say that I have had to make peace with that the fact that I am not "partner material" at this time in my life.  I am not someone's boyfriend or even close to someone's husband. 

Not only has this situation been on my mind, but ALL my friends have been on my mind, I have come to the conclusion that I do not trust easily and that I have, in actuality, a SMALL group of "friends", everyone else is an acquaintance.  What a blessing to be known and appreciated, but what a loss for many. I personally do not TRUST people.  I have had a hard time letting my guard down and when I do, I feel used and taken advantage of.  So moving on into the future, I will not be indebting so much on my friends, rather... meditating, praying, fasting and reading.  

I'm sure I'll have my occasional sloshed drunk moment still, though. (lol)

Fashion week this year has been a blitz of luxury if you've noticed and as Rosh Hashanah begins and Fashion week ends, I have realized, I have lived a lifetime of fashion weeks in my own right.  As a friend, as a businessman and as a thinker. I have begun and ended, returned from Saturn and released all my earthly connections of ANY obligation to me or any expectations I have of them.  As solemn as that sounds, it's very gratifying.

Think about it... I have put the universe and my energy into control.  No person can give me what the universe or the Creator has.

Words of advice from my favorite stylist/designer Rachel Zoe: "pick what it is you love and then the success will come..."

hearts,

jry