JRy Takes On... Karma [V1.4]

Good evening friends,

I have to tell you that I am loving talking about some basic "life concepts". One of the fundamental concepts of life that people often forget (especially when heated or ignoring an incoming text message) is the concept of karma.

Let's think about it! We've all heard that word.

I remember mentioning this word to a very religious boss I had once and she told me that karma was a pagan act and concept. I had to kindly remind her of what I thought karma was: "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you."

Is that biblical?

Yes.

Is that hindu?

Yes.

Is that Wiccan?

Yes?

Every theology under the sun has always believed in karma. Whether you practice voodoo, prayer or just common sharing between your fellow man. You practice karma in everything you do. Karma, like love or smiling or singing has no religion or even spiritual premise. It simply is what it is.

When you look up "karma" on Wikipedia. Karma is a work that derives from sanskrit. It's the concept of performing an action or deed that sets the entire cycle of cause and effect into motion.

I think that's pretty clear in definition, don't you?

Here's what the "Joshtionary" says about karma:
1. Do unto others... (fill in the rest...)
2. Don't shit where you eat.
3. Don't point fingers.

Let me dive into these not-so-spiritual looks at a very spiritual topic.

#1. DO UNTO OTHERS...
I remember as a young 17-year old kid getting ready to complete high school having questions about religion and God. I also had questions about humanity and why the world was such a scary place. In the search to find a moment of clarity, I began doing a lot yoga, reading buddhist-based literature, read the Yoga Taravali and took up studying Kabbalah. Each item taught me alot.

I remember reading The Bible with my grandmother and remember how vengeful she made God sound. I thought, "how sad."

Why would someone create us to punish and destroy us. I began reading works by Rav P.S. Berg and Yehuda Berg and reading the concept "what happens below is above and what happens above is below."

This concept of what happens on Earth is also happening in Heaven corresponds to everything. If I'm having a shitty day, someone else is as well. If I smile at someone, they may just smile back. If I invest in a relationship, they will share and invest with me as well.

It wasn't foreign. It wasn't Jewish and it wasn't Buddhist. It was universal truth.

I know each morning when I wake up to greet the Universe with a humble "thank you".

If I wake up late and greet the day with a "aw..fuck" and slam my alarm clock across the wall, I have always found that the energy of the day tells me to fuck off and slams me around a bit as well. So, "Thank you" is my morning prayer of choice.

What you put out in the world is what you will receive.

#2. DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.
Let me explain this: have you ever had a friend you loved so much? You loved to gossip to them and tell them secrets? You then find yourself gossiping about THEM to others?

This is a common way of setting yourself up for failure in relationships.

I live by the concept of "if they gossip to you, they gossip about you."

This is no different for YOU.

We often try to become a Dahli-Joshua to our friends thinking we have the "Cat by the tail" (have the world figured out) only to exclude ourselves.

When we gossip about others, especially to mutual friends, we set ourselves up for a major public hanging. We see this happen constantly on each new season of "The Real Housewives" Franchise.

One day Lisa talks about Kyle. Kyle talks about Lisa and then they see themselves on TV and start to doubt each other's friendships.

We may not all have cameras following us around, but we should all act like it. I can't tell you how sad I get watching these beautiful botoxed bitches throw each other under the bus. They act like 3.8 million of us don't see them week after week on Bravo.

I make jokes about how I would LOVE TO BE on a reality show. Let me tell you: I'd put my foot in my mouth a lot and the city of Pueblo would probably avoid me.

Don't shit where you eat.

Act like TMZ and Bravo are following you every day. With every sip of alcohol, remember: the age of Twitter takes NO PRISONERS! We do it to ourselves.

#3. DON'T POINT FINGERS.
My grandma used to tell me not to point at people. I can tell you though: she pointed at you when she yelled at you!

Shakespeare was classic in saying that when you point the finger, three are pointing back at you. Let's take a break to try this.

Some spiritual systems believe that when you point or direct negative energy at someone, it comes back on YOU three-fold. I believe this as well. When I have to get "intense" with someone, I tend to put my hand up dramatic-style and Mariah-like with an open palm and my ring finger to my open palm. The reason for this is based on repelling someone's oncoming energy.

My placing my hand UP, I am NOT ACCEPTING what you have to say. Also, my ring finger is placed in a meditation sequence to try and keep my energy focused. Keep in mind, the rules of karma also mean that the OTHER person does NOT have to accept what I say either.

When things get intense, do not point. Just walk away. Call them for coffee the next day or simply write them off. In karma's wonderful universal way, you will buy each other a pause in your relationship.

Karma is a touchy subject because people only think about it as a negative repercussion; we often forget though that when you do something well and good for others or share with others that the universe gladly hands over the Light and sharing energy back to you.

How many times have you thought "can't the universe/God just throw me bone?"

You gotta through it one first.

Hope that helps.
Josh

Got an issue or subject you want me sound off on?
Tweet me @studiojry
or Email jcooley@fastmail.co.uk

JRy Takes On... Kindness [V1.3]

Good evening friends,

'Tis the season of giving, laughing, sharing, asking for things that we know only Father Christmas or an AmEx can give us and one very important virtue: kindness.

Now, I'm taking a break from the "deep issues" people on Facebook and email have asked me to talk about to make way for a rather positive interpretation of something all of us crave: Kindness. Now, kindness for me works in two facets:

1. What the Buddhists, Yogis and Hindus call "lovingkindness"; and
2. Compassion.

According to Wikipedia, "kindness" is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others.

When you break all of this down, kindness isn't just throwing someone a smile or buying a sad sack friend a drink at the bar, kindness, to be broken properly is:

1. Doing the right thing for everyone (aka integrity)
2. Being humble and being someone others want to "feed" off of. (aka genuine charisma)
3. Practicing compassion.

When you apply these characteristic to the "Joshtionary" of life. I would mark kindness down as having three characteristics attached to a virtue.

1. Practicing silence through being a good listener.
2. Practicing compassion toward others.
3. Creating a warm environment for all.

Let's explore these in depth.

1. PRACTICING SILENCE THROUGH BEING A GOOD LISTENER.
Think about many of the conversations you've had with some of your best mates. The ones we usually remember the most are when someone sat with us, listened with us and didn't judge us. Remember back in entry V1.2 and V1.1 when I spoke about people throwing you under the bus and people that voice their harsh opinions in an aggressive and judgmental matter? This is what I'm talking about.

How many times have you just needed a sounding block or someone to vent to about your day and your fucked up family? Or how many times can you complain about your ex, lack of a love life or client that no-showed for the last three appointments? This person sitting across, beside or close to you (even over telephone or FaceTime) is a good, kind soul.

Being a good listener involves letting the venter get everything off their chest for the sake of releasing all their bad energy. You what happens to people that hold on to bad energy? They hold on til they begin to wilt like a flower with no water, sunlight or attention from it's gardner. They also develop what they will call a "thick skin" that eventually leads to a jaded opinion of the world and start to develop cancer and neurosis in the body. These people begin using heartbreak and illness to get attention and become energy suckers no one wants to be around because NOBODY listened to them properly.

We all have opinions when someone tells us a tragic story, but the way to be a good friend and be a truly spiritual being that practices lovingkindess is someone that listens without passing judgment. Jesus did this. Samantha on "Sex and the City" did this when Carrie cheated on Aiden with Big.

Remember the episode? Carrie and Sam are cleaning up a mess, Carrie admits her infidelity and asks, "don't you wanna judge me?"

Samantha calmly replies, "it's not my style." and winks.

This proves to me that Samantha was the most kind friend of the four women. Sure, she was a big slut, but she listened better than anyone and always had their girls' backs.

2. PRACTICING COMPASSION TOWARDS OTHERS.
Sometimes people have a really hard life. Sometimes people have a really hard day. Sometimes when they have an overdose of the two in a short period of time, they act up in a fucked up manner and become crabby patties like Squidward on "Spongebob Squarepants".

All Squidward needed was a compassionate friend. Spongebob always tried to be his friend. Spongebob never held anything against him either. Wanna know why? The character of Spongebob is a benevolent optimist that always saw his life as a glass; not a glass half empty or half full, just a glass. He woke up everyday wanting to be a good fry cook and walk his snail.

Squidward was always bothered by other people. Sometimes I feel like Squidward. I am always striving to practice more compassion because, honestly, I don't have it that rough in life, really.

Practicing compassion towards your friends and those in your life involves skill #1. listening and also learning to shut up and not cast judgment. You don't know WHY your grouchy friend acts like he does, just be there for him... no matter what a dick he is.

Finally, 3. Creating a warm environment for all.
Remember going to your grandma's house, friends house or even a distant single relative's house growing up? (for those of you that said, "no", please re-read my Squidward analogy)

We are attracted to people and places that make us feel the way Christmas morning feels. We like the feeling of not having to worry, not having a care and not being unsafe. Kind people have a non-threatening vibe around them. You want to give these people hugs, buy them presents and sometimes just say "thank you" for no reason.

I had a client bring me a card today that said inside, "you make me smile."

This is a from of lovingkindess. She also attached a Starbucks card, but her message warmed my heart. She took time to make me feel accepted and wanted.

This is the example of kindness. We don't see each other daily, I am not her child or spouse and we don't text or talk outside of her appointments, but she wanted to remind me that I matter.

I felt like a prince and couldn't wait to share with all of you on Facebook and Instagram.

Guess what?

You all make me smile and you know what? You all matter.

This isn't my way of expressing kindness. It's cos it's true.

Thank you.
Josh "JRY" Cooley

Got an issue or subject you want me to write about?
Tweet me @studiojry or email jcooley@fastmail.co.uk

JRy Takes On...Betrayal [V1.2]

Good evening friends,

I have to start off by saying thank you to everyone interacting on social media with me with the re-launch/debut of this blog concept. I literally have the highest ratings I've had on this blog in six months and I am so happy that people have read and responded to what I have to say.

There was a neck-and-neck race to the next subject you all asked me to tackle. It was a toss-up between "betrayal" and "heartbreak". I have actually chosen to take on "betrayal" first because heartbreak involves so many emotions and let-downs that involve the aspect of being and feeling betrayed.

So, let's get started.

As I looked on the internet on my iPhone and typed in "betrayal" on my Safari browser, wikipedia came up with the following definition of what Webster and his mates define as betrayal. It says, and I quote: "breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust or confidence which produces moral and psychological conflict in a relationship...."

Deep, right?

How many of you read that definition as you're scrolling this on your mobile devices and thought, "oh shit... [so and so] did that to me"?

The other thought you may have is, "that was my EX!!!!"

See? Now, you know WHY I couldn't tackle heartbreak quite yet.

So let's get started, here's what the Joshtionary defines betrayal as:

1. Someone who is a dear friend that suddenly doesn't have your back.
2. A sudden change in views due to:
a) fakeness or b) wanting to be accepted by others or another group.
3. Shady behavior.

As I type this, my ears and finger tips have turned red in absolute anger and jaded consciousness because I can name more than a handful of people that have done me dirty and have yet to "right" their wrongs with me. I digress though... we'll talk about forgiveness one day, but tonight it's all about the dirty sons-a-bitches that betrayed us.

In breaking down betrayal, we find that there are THREE components of a relationship that start to decay and eventually lead to heartbreak and psychological confusion. The first is......


BREAKING OR VIOLATING A 'PRESUMED' CONTRACT aka "The Bro Code"
One thing about friendships and relationships is that we often feel so close to people that we think just cos we now fart in sync with them that they always agree with us, our views and our goals. We also think that they will always be 100% #teamjosh or #team(enteryournamehere). NOT always so.

When you have a friend that you share intimate feelings and secrets with, you often say things to them that you would NEVER want the public to know! Let's take for instance Lady Gaga vs. Perez Hilton. Now, please understand, I think Perez is a total piece of shit and accidentally got famous. He could NEVER BE a trusted friend to anyone because think about it: he made his name bashing people on his internet blog when he was fat! All of a sudden, he lost his weight, stopped doing drugs and had famous friends.

Months later, we find out he now calls Stefani (Gaga) a drunk, a substance abuser and that she often showed up completely debauched to events and radio appearances and that HER TEAM is the only thing keeping her alive and in the scene. He ALSO panned her music and her relationship with cutie patootie Taylor. NOT COOL!!!

You know, I've had many a wild, drunken night with my mates and when one of them says stupid shit to me about being drunk or saying something while I was under the influence, I truly thinK the worst of them.. How many times can you judge me and why don't you have my mother fucking back? Perez was partying with Gaga and she probably flipped the bill for the asshole. I have been around many a "Perez" in my lifetime and I can tell you, once you stop paying for shit, they run! After they run, they run their traps. HE violated the terms of trust. HE was never a friend. Sadly, he forgets when he was a fat, lonely stoner looking for a rich fag hag.

BREAKING OF TRUST
If I tell you something as my friend, I expect what goes from my lips to your ears to be between me and you, not you and Facebook. Not you and work. Not you and your extended family. There are big things people should never tell. Thing regarding kids, sexuality, cheating and finances are all up to the teller, not the tell-ee aka listener.

Please keep in mind that I DO NOT believe in secrets. One reason is because anytime I shared something in my youth, my own words came to bite me in the ass later. The birdy that told everyone was ALWAYS my best friend at the time. Not fucking cool at all!

VIOLATION OF CONFIDENCE
Let's put it this way: you know when you fall in love with someone or you want to date someone, you have a couple dates, text all day and then you decide to have sex and they never call again? That's this!

People constantly build us up and then once they screw us, they run! They are out faster than Adam Lambert at a Madonna concert!! Always. I have had many people be invited into my "private world" or "private circle". They reap the benefits and get spoiled. Once I tell them "no". They shoot their mouth to everyone we know about what a c--t I am and what a snobby, bitchy, lonely gay man I am.

Luckly, through the years, my good friends that know us mutually know how to see through the bullshit and will either tell me they saw it coming or completely stop being as cordial to the user. These people that fuck you (mentally and many other ways) are users and you should cast them aside. Once someone messes with your confidence level and builds you up only to tear you down, it is your job to find your self-worth and remind the person that used you why you were and are special to begin with. If they fell in love with your big ego and then tell you two years later that your ego is a problem, it's because they became spoiled and now feel entitled to "serve you your ass" on a platter. Fuck that. Tell them to scram before they give you the boot.

As always, I have my own rules of life. I'm not going to talk about my exes or the assholes I loved through the years, I'm going to tell you how to be a good friend and avoid being a user and how to see the signs of a user.

#1. Always have your friends' backs. If you don't understand why they feel or say what they do, feel and say, ask them.
1a. When someone close to you judges you and doesn't give you a chance to explain yourself, begin cutting this person off! No more tickets "together". Always dutch dinners and start to limit your alcohol content around them.

#2. Don't ever change yourself and throw you friends under the bus to make YOU look better. You will look like a major douche and now karma's gonna come flying your way... and frankly, you deserve it.
2a. When someone starts talking shit or dissing you to a group of people to make themselves look better, leave the situation. Call them the next day and invite them out or have a serious conversation with them. No email. No text. Voices only! IF they say they're "too busy" to listen to you, You need to remind them that YOU are simply TOO BUSY to be their friend.

#3. Don't trust shady people. Shady people are as follows: people that password lock everything, people that stop talking or texting when you walk into a room, people that neglect to introduce you to their new friends and people that constantly change plans or flake out at the last minute. These people are NOT to be touched with a ten-foot pole, should never be invited to your home and should never know where you keep your hidden stash of money or expensive anime.
3a. Don't be fuckin' shady. See above. Do what you say you're going to do. Don't sugar coat or demean someone. It's dumb.

That's what I think about betrayal. Instead of focusing on what betrayal is or who has betrayed me (pay attention to my Twitter feed, haha), I wanted to let you know how to recognize the signs before playing Lana Del Rey, drinking red wine and playing with razor blades seems like a good idea.

Dump a user. They'll run out of ideas and energy soon enough.
JRy

Have an issue or subject you want me to talk about?
tweet me @studiojry
email @ jcooley@fastmail.co.uk

JRy Takes On...Friendship [V1.1]

Good evening friends,

A lot of people ask me my opinion regarding many subjects, things, places, etc and I wanted to create a place where I could give life to my feelings on those subjects.

Tonight on Facebook and Twitter, I asked what subjects the readers would love to see me "sound off" about. There's a lot of subjects in the world and alot of things that I would love to talk about. The coolest part about asking me about one, singular subject is that I cannot stop telling you about it in the most descriptive way I can possible. I'm very uncensored in my views and I believe that EVERYTHING has rules attached to it in life.

I got a lot of Facebook friends asking me to talk about betrayal and heartbreak and some "deep" issues. Since this is the first official entry of "JRy Takes On..." I wanted to dive into the essay-pool with something a bit lighter, if you will.

Honestly, to answer anything about betrayal later on in the blog, I have to start with my idea of...

FRIENDSHIP.

According to Google, "Friendship" is defined as the state of being friends. See also the following synonyms: association, bond and tie. There are many others, but let's look at the first three that pop up on Google search.

For me, the Joshtionary of friendship is:
1. Someone you would like to "break bread with"
2. Someone that has your back no matter what.
3. Someone you welcome willingly into your life.

I find those three criteria the best when I'm calling someone a friend. Now, for me, being in the public and knowing so many people, I have a lot of peers that call themselves my "Friends". Anyone that knows me, knows that I use that term loosely. I use the term "peers" because it's very vanilla, it's very proper and it shows no connection whatsoever. A peer to me is someone that is in your social circle, profession or life just because. Sometimes its business, and most peers do not have the opportunity to share pleasurable experience with me.

A friend is someone I can cuss around, eat around, talk about my family around and I know that they won't hold any of that shit against me. A peer or a business associate does one of the following things: 1. Judge you or 2. Throw you under the bus.

For me, my life is full of friends. I have a handful of great, intimate friends with my personal phone number, that have seen my home, that are welcome to eat and drink with me and have seen me ape-shit angry at least once.

Not all peers or business associates can handle those situations. A true friend that happens to work with you or is your client can! Luckily, I've been blessed with people that enjoy my company and over-opinionated mouth.

The sad part of welcoming people into my inner circle is that I often fall prey to a few "Snakes in the grass", just like many of you reading this. The saddest thing is when you open your heart to someone and they use your words or emotions against you. I think this is one of the most asshole-ish things you could possibly do! (see: betrayal in future blog).

Let me elaborate on what Google says...

ASSOCIATES or ASSOCIATION.
To me, an "associate" is NOT a friend. They can be "friendly" (adverb) with you, but they don't necessarily become your friends. You keep things relatively cordial when you see these people, the contact is very limited and it's always good to see associates because you don't exchange thoughts with them daily.

BOND
True, a good friendship has an invisible bond, much like a hair elastic that keeps all the little strands of verbiage, gossip, tantrums, late night hamburgers and happy hour confessions neatly bound together to the follicle that is your life. If that band BUSTS or breaks, we are devastated, why? We're devastated because we now have random "hairs" (trusted inhibitions) all over the place because the bond is gone. This bond in all relationships is called, "trust". Without the bond [trust], there is no ponytail... you know, friendship [it's a metaphor, people].

TIE
See "bond" above, just kidding....
A tie is more like something common that brought the pair of you together. Tie is most commonly seen in today's culture as the term "mutual friends" on Facebook. Have you ever been friends with someone for so long in real life and then you realize you know 800 of the same people? Why haven't you all hung out together? Wanna know why? There's a fear of breaking the special "bond" you have. Most of the 800 people you know mutually are just associates (see above). Ties are cool, but not so important. They can be cut faster than that fat ponytail you two are rocking!

NOW, let me elaborate on the Joshtionary terms of friendship:

#1. BREAKING BREAD
As the son of a world-class cook and amazing chef, I have heard the term "breaking bread" my whole life! As the grandson of a super religious Catholic-based family, I am haunted by the guilt of bringing someone to dinner that is NOT WELCOME. I was taught a long time ago that eating a meal with someone means a lot! When you cook for someone, you infuse love and your energy into your meal. Your company eats this energy and they say, "oh Mom Yvonne. That warmed my heart!"

In my case, my company says, "Oh Josh. What great bread in butter!"

Just kidding, try vodka, but I digress.

I have a rule. I do not tell intimate details to people I would NOT break bread with. I don't share meals with gossips, homophobes, overly religious, snakes in the grass, fake bitches or past enemies. Remember the energy thing? Yep. I'm eating yours and you're eating mine. I only invite people I love out to eat. There are family members that I will NEVER eat with. Sad, but true story.

#2. HAVING YOUR BACK
A good friend is a good friend for a reason. Remember the "bond"? We called that bond "trust". If there is NO TRUST, there is NO FRIENDSHIP. That's a peer or associate. Truly, as I type this, I am not sure 70% of my friends have my back. A friend will stick up for you no matter what you do! You don't have to be standing in the room with them. A true friend lives, breathes and shits the philosophical-psyche bond you have created together. IF someone tests that bond and your friends takes the OUTSIDER's side or defends them, they have betrayed you. Cut this person's privileges out of your bond. The first thing I do is STOP paying for anything. I no longer pick up the check at restaurants. I go dutch. I no longer buy more than one drink at the bar, I also start to limit my contact.

If you don't have my back, we have a problem!

#3. WILLINGNESS
Let's face it: we don't always LOVE our family members. Sometimes Thanksgiving feels like the Olympics at my house! We have the emotion category, the passive-aggressive dig category, the guilt category, the one-upper category, you get it. I have cousins and uncles that have mastered this shit show!

When we welcome a friend into our life and years go by, we start to do weird shit like let them babysit our kids and drink off our glasses or try a piece of our chocolate bar. Women start comparing boob sizes and gay men start showering together (haha--- just making sure you're paying attention). The point is, we do things with these people that are more intimate than we do with our own family and at some point, our friends feel like our adopted familia (que bueno!).

When you willingly open your heart to people, you will find that the conversations are deeper. Whether you discuss Miley Cyrus twerking or God's eternal plan for mankind, you are always interested. This person has a place in your heart when your sister has to sit shotgun or wait for the next bus to pick her up.... This person is almost your blood!

That's a friend.

Friendship is a beautiful thing. Without it, we'd die or get really old really fast. Sometimes I send my friends naughty text messages just to make them smile because I know they'll always remember my screwed up sense of humor and they know that I thought about them. I have gone many days when I thought no one thought about me. The only thing someone was looking for was a haircut or an extra five bucks off of something in the salon. I love getting random jokes and beautiful messages from my friends.

Without those bonds in our lives, life is full of lots of pricks. Honestly, start tallying up how many beautiful people are in your life. Think of who makes you laugh. If they don't or you roll your eyes when you think of that person, they're NOT a true friend.

Remember the laughs. Laughter guides you to really positive connections. I promise.

Thanks for reading,
Josh

Got a subject you want me to tackle?

Tweet me @studiojry
Email me @ jcooley@fastmail.co.uk

STILL a Pretty World. Now, a fabulous wrap-up...

Good morning Rockstars + Lambs!

Let me start this entry off as such:

THANK YOU.

Thank you to everyone that has followed my career through the years. Whether you followed my writing or my colorist-educator life (or both), thank you.

It's been two months since I've refreshed this blog and my video blog and I have much reason for taking the time. I am very notorious for taking "Garbo-esque" hiatus periods to re-group and sometimes re-hash format and material that should and SHOULD NOT be posted online.

For me (and anyone that knows me), I'm not a very censored person. I tend to be a bit more of a verbal exhibitionist and couldn't give two shits if you care or not. Actually, the blog community has always elevated me to seniority status and has garnered me three writing awards through the past three years and notoriety for being quick-witted and sometimes painfully honest about not only my friends and family, but ME.

In writing "Pretty World, Fabulous Life", I wanted to chronicle my journey in opening my own salon, how it affected me, my friendships and lifestyle. I think we've accomplished that! I'm not a novice anymore. I'm not some snot-nosed 22 year-old doing hair anymore. I'm not some lonely bisexual looking for love anymore. I'm not some spiritually-ambiguous human looking for inspiration in yoga and vegetarianism. I'm also not tacky like most of the people I see posting worthless material on the internet full of hate and unnecessary drama.

At 30 years of age, I can tell you the following: I'm an authority at what I do and what I teach, but I am a life-long student. I have learned that love is looking for me, but I keep looking for it in the wrong places. I am also VERY grounded and convicted in my spiritual practices.

All of these aspects of my life are monumental changes from who I was eight years ago when I began blogging and airing out dirty laundry or playing passive-aggressive jujitsu behind my keyboard and iPad. I've grown tired of defending myself and proving myself to others and I've grown tired of the narcissism that plagues this generation of iGeeks and Tumblr-philes and Snapchatters. I want no part of that. I want nothing to do with people that partake in such things.

.......Let's talk abit about Volume 1 of this blog: I was just opening my salon and didn't understand how to separate my personal and professional life. Check. Volume 2: I became notoriously angry on the internet and began referring to myself as #cooleyisthenewgarbo on the internet. It became a success and a cult-label and still is. I also fashioned the term "hiatus" and banished some very nasty friends from my pretty little kingdom. By Volume 3: I expressed my heartbreak and my blogs became more and more spaced because the pain caused in Volume 2 was snowballing into my life. Okay, not so fun, right?

Well, let me tell you: it taught me alot. It taught me that I have thick fucking skin and always have.

I began taking time away from my "personal" blogs and focusing on my HIT blog "Rockstar Slums". "Rockstar Slums" currently has 20,000 visitors a month and my education program Josh Cooley Atelier launches next year as a baby brand for young hairdressers and seasoned beauty pros. You see, I simply do not have time to be the wet blanket in my own life.

I do, however, have time to taught about the things that make me tick like "friendship", "kindness" and many subjects.

Transforming this blog into an advice/well-being blog is a goal of mine. I get asked advice all the time. I want to share with YOU how my brain works. I want to connect more in depth with you than I can on Twitter.

In recent months, I can tell you what let to this "awakening".....

#1. I miss writing essays about life.
#2. I miss the intimate connection my writing brings.
#3. I miss sharing life-lessons.
#4. I dumped a shit-load of friends from my roster at my therapist's advice.
#5. I dumped my therapist.
#6. I fell in love with the wrong person and acted inappropriately.
#7. I fell out of love with that person only to realize it's okay to love someone, but not be "in love" with them.
#8. I missed writing about it and speaking about it.
#9. I missed you all.

My writing has always been very honest. I admire that. I admire honest people. I recently read a blog about me posted on a social media site calling me many things I wasn't. I saw what this person had to say and really evaluated the situation described only to say, "guilty!"

I can raise my hand high knowing I owned my actions. I also apologized and never got acknowledgment back for apologizing. I only got more passive-aggressive behavior and instead of shutting down (which I'm usually accustomed to), I took it like a man. I probably got a little drunk as well (lol), but I stopped and looked at who I am and who this beautiful person was writing these horrible things about me and said, "that's enough!"

So, ladies and gents.... my life begins anew. My writing begins anew. My role as an educator and salon owner begins (you guessed it)... ANEW!

There are no more "pretty" adventures to write about... That was all in my twenties. Time to focus on bigger, better things, not baby boys and baby girls talking shit on the internet.

I've missed you all and miss sharing my opinions. So stay tuned for my new blog-venture and as they say in Hollywood: THAT'S A WRAP.

-Josh "JRy" Cooley
(the pretty boy and the pretty world are now complete)

Thank you, once again!

I want to thank everybody who took the time to vote for the Best of awards.

Every category is divided into three placements and this year I was the lucky recipient of the gold placement.

It's funny because I checked out my biography that was written in the Pueblo Cheiftain, they actually sited my Twitter account as what got me the award. It was not my blogs this year. 

As a 2x winner in this category, I am very thankful and encourage you to check out all my online endeavors. 

Much love and tweet me @studiojry

Josh Cooley 

03.05: Just be honest

Hi friends,

Thanks so much for checking out my blog.

I wanted to take the time to thank you personally as I have received a phone call just within the week telling me I was the recipient of the GOLD award for Best of Pueblo Best Local Blog or Blogger. Last year, I took home the honor at the bronze level and this year it is so honorable to be voted your favorite.

One thing that I want people to understand that I do not take any of my online success with a grain of salt and I do know exactly what content I am putting on the internet. I generally reserve Facebook for business and talking about the blogs, but even I get wrapped in the world of selfies and drunk-FBing.

It's sucks doing "damage control" the next day. (LOL)

Everyone and their mom knows that I love tweeting! I say whatever the fuck is on my mind and don't care. That's the fun of Twitter!

My blogs vary... you know, five years ago, I didn't realize that "Pretty Boy Education" would become a hit or that it would spawn my column "Haute Mess" off of my critiques and fashionable adventures between me, my friends, social media and many cocktails.

When I created the sequel "Pretty World, Fabulous Life: Inside Studio JRy" last year as an homage to my private life and all the questions people ask me, I didn't expect to win a BEST BLOGGER award.

"Rockstar Slums" came shortly after and has become a crazy success with over 16,000 readers every month. Holy shit! Who knew!

I don't want to boast, but I must tell you, the times I've been most successful in my life is when I was most authentic and unfiltered. Another crazy thing is that every time I win an award, make an appearance as a color educator or speaker, my friends normally gang up on me and kick the emotional shit out of me.

Last time I wrote, I talked about seeing a therapist and making life adjustments. You know? I really believe that it was the best thing I ever did.

I've had alot of people pipe up recently and try to talk down to me and what I can tell you is that counseling has taught me NOT TO BE as passive aggressive as I have been in the past. Before, I'd stay quiet and change the subject or buy a round of drinks or give a gift to soften the blow... what sense does that make?

Why should I reward someone or anyone for being a dick?

You shouldn't!

Recently, I've put my foot down and let EVERYone know: you cannot bully me!!!!

I'm known for expressing my opinion and being a hard-ass, but one thing I will not permit is someone being a jerk or a smart-ass. People are very very courageous behind the screen and never able to "pipe up" in public. I don't give a fuck; I'll give you my two cents and I think everyone should!

It's not being mean or brash, it's being honest, folks!

Seriously.

When did we all become castrated sheep following the flock with no nuts?

I want to tell anyone of you reading this: I am BEHIND YOU 100%. TO ALL MY READERS, CREATIVES, FRIENDS, CLIENTS and UNDERDOGS, I AM BEHIND YOU.

If you are sincere, and you really are striving to be authentic, I want to raise you up.

If you are a coward that sends hateful messages or talks shit online and acts a fool in public licking the good ol' boys' asses, I do not. I will not support your projects or even recognize you.

You can't validate or recognize fakeness. It's not worth the honor.

Therapy taught me something. It taught me to listen to ME, NOT anyone else. Wanna know how I know I'm on the right path? I feel so much better and am healthier in many ways because of it.

For anyone rolling their eyes as they read this thinking "how did he win best blogger?", just stop. I think it's time for the world to be honest. The people of this world live in a nonsense bumble of Tumblr, Grindr and social media telling and showing them what they want to hear.

Stop.

Just be honest with your self. If you're not sure of who you are, just ask yourself: "is this what I like showing the world?"

Authentically yours,
Josh

03.04 : Let the healing begin...

Today I stepped away from the salon as the floor got fixed, but something I can share with you all is that I have been fixing things in my life. 

It has taken me a large amount of courage to divulge the following, but about one month ago, I began seeing a therapist to help me deal with depression. 

I have found that a key factor to my depression is stress and guilt. Unhealthy habits like binge drinking DO NOT help and I have been on a mission to improve my life through meditation, prayer, yoga, working out and even pulling away from the Internet. 

One of the hardest things I can share with you is that studies have been shown that social media stunts a person's creativity and makes them anxious. 

The first exercise my therapist told me to do was to approach key figures in my life and have a grown-up conversation with them telling them how I feel. 

This became difficult as I approached my parents, friends and transgressors in my life. The first week was spectacular! I made huge progress.

Within a week, I had an altercation with a local business owner in town that was once a friend. 

My therapist also advised me to take a hiatus from my blogs and limit my social media. It has been so tough and I have had a couple "melt downs" publicly as I approached the inner-workings of progressive conversations I've had with toxic people in my life. 

With no blog, I had to learn to privately journal and have made the decision to eliminate my YouTube channel and cease production of my book. 

I turned to my best friend and he helped inspire me to create more positive online works. In September, I will debut two new blogs and continue on with "Rockstar Slums".

In an attempt to be more active and have less "thinking" time, I have become very active in two community organizations. 

I feel like a large percentage of my depression comes from my passive aggressive nature to air-out dirty laundry via Twitter, but not directly. 

I had become a coward and a very angry, jaded person. I have also identified that my drinking habits are not at all alright. 

I understand that a good cocktail is appreciated, but 4 is a problem... Especially 4 nights or more a week. 

As alcohol has NEVER affected my work or professionalism, it has altered my character and I am truly ashamed of some of my doings as of recent. 

I can't tell you all how much fear I have of telling you all via my blog how much it hurts me to be so vulnerable, but it was high-time I admit that I have not been happy as of late.

I am a talented young man approaching 30 and for once I felt as though I was falling off the turnip truck. (NOT a fun feeling!) 

I want you all to know that I truly believe that a good therapist will help you on your path to healing and show you how to identify "triggers" in your life. 

It takes a strong person to identify their weaknesses. I am strongly telling you that each day has progressed and shown me more about my character.

I am MUCH better than depression and want to be very public in saying I need privacy (as much as can be expected) in this healing process. 

warmly and thankfully, 

Josh 

03.03: Don't Be A Bully...Be A Friend

What's up Rockstars + Lambs!

It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I'm just going through my work week trying to tie all of my loose ends together before the weekend starts off. There isn't much going on in my life or much involving many people at this time in my life.

Frankly, I've been more concerned with tending to business and browsing clothes and shoes for a lit of events I have coming up later this year. Is that too diluted of me? I don't think any more than normal.

I had a lot of responses to the last blog and want thank everyone for believing in me and sending well-wishes hoping and praying for a larger salon space. At this time, I haven't followed up at all with any meetings or anything really. I am at a stand-still as I wait for the "ok" from investors. I've never ever ever ever had to work with investors and I'm still not sure as to how I feel about it.

You know, the advice I give people is that: when in doubt, don't do it.

It's hard taking my own advice, ya know? A part of me is very content in my business and part of me is overzealous to get a new concept started with a great staff. The theory of "build it and they WILL COME" is not always a reality.

As I've shared with many my intentions of a cool-ass large salon, some people come up to me and reply:

"I thought you wanted small."

"Are you still going to do hair?"

My closest friends say "do it" and then I have some that doubt me and nothing hurts worse than doubt from a close friend.

I shared with a friend recently that I was pricing real estate and feeling out the market in California... Just a thought.

She abruptly interrupted me with, "So. um. How soon til you make THIS happen?"

I said, "I don't know . Just a thought."

She said, "Josh, you tend to work fast with ideas and if you want it, you normally try to get it ASAP."

I don't agree with her. It took me 18 months to plan Rockstars + Lambs and there are days I'm still NOT happy with my investment. Then, on a smooth day, it's as if God let me know I made a good call.

One of the main things that stops me is that I constantly stop and inspect my finances. I have to be honest: I made ALOT of financial mistakes when I was younger and as I started making GOBS of money, I started partying and buying label-items. Material things don't show you anything about yourself except how much of your bank balance is going away.

When I think of the people I spent money on and look around, not one of those motherfuckers is here to offer advice or a listening ear, much less pick up a drink at the bar.

Most of them have gotten pregnant, married, don't do much for their careers like when we were younger. Nothing. Not one damn thing.

You might call me jaded. HAHa.

I would call me a "burnt bitch". My feelings are still hurt by many things and it has shown the last few months, if not years.

I sometimes feel like the only one on my side is my assistant. She just gets it! She knows my next move before I make it. I have two great friends in my life that are sometimes not all they are in my brain. One of my friends is very critical of the other and the other can offer criticism and it erks my female friend.

Recently, my friend expressed concern that I may be building my best friend up in my mind. I saw her point, but you know what? I don't agree. I don't agree at all. All I see is jealously.

However, on the other hand, I feel very empty in all my "friendly" relationships at this time. It's a sad day at Josh's house.

For me, I feel like if I don't have a "gift" for someone, they don't give a shit. As soon as I give or buy something, they're right there.

The other thing I am not happy with is being talked into a corner by people that have been labeled my confidantes. I don't like someone assuming that talking down to me is the way to allow me room to grow.. it's bullying!

I don't believe that you can befriend a bully and I certainly don't think a good friend would mean to bully.

As I think about the space I'm in mentally, I have to share the following with you:

Last Volume, I had a love interest. The love interest fell through. We had a great couple days (and nights together) and an excuse was made that he would not be able to see me. I have seen this person multiple times out at the same watering hole.

The first time, I was with my best friend and ignored him. The next time I saw him, it was he and I alone in the bar. I asked him if I could speak to him.

He replied, "sure."

As I went to talk to him, my words and demeanor became so transparent that I began to drink more and ask intruding questions, then, I did what I hate most: I BULLIED him into an answer as to why he didn't like me.

He excused himself and went to the restroom. I ordered a shot crown and proceeded to get wasted.

The next morning, I woke up forgetting what had happened verbally at the bar. I was so embarrassed and didn't even remember paying my tab. I did however reach out to both my friends via text with no response received.

As I sat in silence for most the morning, I was annoyed at not only my behavior, but at the double standard that has been applied to me.

I will never bully someone to like me, love me, or want to be with me. But I will make damn sure that if you say you're my friend, you act like one.

One of the most disheartening feelings in the world is the feeling of rejection and with that said, I think it's evident what this post is about.

I've been rejected and critiqued and want it fixed.

Where do I even begin?

I love my friends and want this in my life, but I have to tell you that when I am constantly doubted, rejected and made second best, it's the same as slamming me against a wall and asking me to be quiet.

Don't be a bully. Be my friend.

03.02 : A big leap, a big chance...

What's up Rockstars + Lambs?

It's late on a Monday evening and I'm sitting here catching up on my DVR and sipping coffee and tending to a to-do list.  Actually, I'm taking a break from my to-do list to finally write a blog.

It saddens me when I'm not able to make a connection with my tweethearts through blogging.  I love the connection and reaching out to the public via social media and online sites when I'm not in the salon.  It means a lot to me.

Lately, it's been a bit different for me behind the scenes as I'm changed my after-hours schedule to include an earlier bedtime (hard to believe, I know) and with that said, I find it very hard to calm my mind.  The average set up for me is to turn a majority of the lights off at 10pm at my home and turn the TV down low and begin reading or replying to emails or some of your messages, by 11pm, I try to disconnect myself from my phone and read a spiritual book or watch an old 1930s movie, slowly, sleep sets in and I migrate to my master suite and attempt to stay there til 4:30 or 5 and make my way to the gym...

The biggest thought on my brain keeping me up lately is my longing to expand Rockstars + Lambs to a larger location.  I have found a location about 3,000 square feet (up from my 840 square foot studio) and wonder if its too soon to invest in my future and expand my team. 

There's so many cool things I could do in a bigger space with a team and then there's the overwhelming weight of me NOT wanting to start over again.  Honestly, as a salon owner, there are some things I'm just NOW figuring out. I am to the point where my assistant and I are on the same page and my internship program is a talked-about commidity.

Part of expanding into a larger space is NOT ONLY to be a place for top color and top colorists trained by me, but also to open a training facility for other hairdressers to expand there knowledge through advanced education and to mentor young stylists as I'm doing now.  I said about a year ago that my goal was to grow my brand.

I had to ask myself: what does the Josh Cooley brand include?

My answer was: top skill. top professionalism. top in education.

The key to all this is education. Without being properly trained or educated, no body can grow in any industry they select to be a Rockstar in.  I truly believe that.

In bringing on my assistant as a permanent feature, I've been torn as to how I will manage a staff, teach and mentor.  I need a director of the Josh Cooley brand.  Most people tell me "well, Josh, that's you!"

No.  I'm the Creative Director.  I say use Joico color and listen to Beth Minardi and myself and reference Vidal Sassoon, but put the Josh spin on it."

That's being creative.

A director manages the facility, the money and the growth of the brand. My goal has always been to bring my mom into the equation. For 30 years, she has managed restaurants under my dad's franchise and she is very good at it.  The restaurant industry and the salon industry are different, but have one thing in common: guest satisfaction.

I think she'd be good at this.  

As part of growing my brand and education brand, I have begun work on new imagery and working on books to go with the proper tools needed to create a truly independent professional stylist.  It is hard work!  It has taken me eight years to understand the equation, with the last five being very successful and first one being a drag.

I have worked for three major haircare companies and educated thousands of professionals and STILL do not feel as though I have arrived fully as an industry educator.  I often feel "dumbed" down by manufacturers due to the politics involved in booking a class.

When I started booking Josh Cooley: Atelier classes privately, my reputation surpassed me.  As much as I love working with the Joico and Minardi brands, I feel very sad that they have not fully utilized me as an important color educator in my native territory.  I had to take things into my own hands and begin teaching MY WAY.

I have NEVER let a company hold me down or put me in a box and as much as I have loved all my business associates, that is all they ever become. They never have truly become my partner.  I invest thousands of dollars year into being brand specific and hope that one day, they reciprocate and invest in me.

With that being a far and few dream, I created the education at Rockstars + Lambs and trained seven young colorists and over 200 professionals at various Academies in Colorado.

Why wouldn't I gamble it all and invest in a bigger space?

It can only get better, right?

03.01 : Refocusing thanks to Joan and Greta

Good afternoon lambs,

It's about 12:30 pm in the afternoon and I am tapping away at my keyboard sipping a water and listening to Brazilian Bossa Nova. It's been a rather calm morning and looks like it's going to be quite the busy afternoon.

When I last left you at the end of last volume, I was on my journey of being solo and disconnecting from obligation to friends and expectations and what I can tell you is that when I checked my Facebook inbox, I had a great deal of messages asking me if I was alright. The true story to all this is that I needed time to think about what my next goal in life is going to be. Owning a small salon and being a public figure in my demographic is nice, but as the natural progression of things takes place, I of course, want more professionally.

Last month, I had the pleasure of meeting one of my mentors, Ms. Joan Rivers and we had a delightful little talk while I did her hair. He last words to me were "dump the boyfriend and move to LA."

Firstly, there's no boyfriend. But what I took this as was to dump all my yearnings for one particular person. As the month went on, I was in very little contact with one of the most important people to me. It gave me time to think about expanding my business into a much larger space and think about hiring a staff and making some waves HAPPEN in this community.

Also, my five year plan is to launch a kick-ass staff, an education facility for other hairdressers and start traveling to LA for work on bigger projects throughout the year.

I have to tell you, Joan really inspired me that day. Not just that day, but for many years now. In the bar, I want to emulate her comedy. With my friends, I want to be as worldly and classy as she is, but behind the scenes, she's alot like me. She's quiet, hilariously quiet at that, and has exquisite manners and does not desire to talk to multiple people for too long.

Like Joan, I love meeting people and familiar faces, but also like Joan, I like to curl up with a book and write.

Like Joan, I like the spotlight to be on me, but also like Joan, I don't like be around large crowds of strangers.

I think if Greta Garbo would have been alive, she would have enjoyed Ms. Rivers' humor.

One thing I love about Joan is her philanthropy and charity work and as my assistant pointed out, I have always been involved in charity work. I tend to be very quiet about my causes as I was taught by my rabbi not to bring attention to charitable contributions because it would not be considered giving from my heart, but for public recognition.

As usual, my mother has been my main confidante these past few weeks, but even at that, we have had our distance and she has noticed the difference in my outlook on business, love and friendships. I'm a bit more muted and even though I get hurt by the actions of others, I have to be honest in saying: I think they are completely oblivious to the fact that they have hurt me.

In the last few weeks, I have taken one of my interns and brought her on board as my color assistant and style associate. She is amazing and compliments the salon very very well.

I've had many a lonely walk and lonely drink these past five weeks by myself and have allowed my close friends and others to move on to other projects and crowds. They're not fired, but I feel that they need a change from some of the monotony of hanging with me.

I love to talk about business or make inappropriate jokes while sipping the same cocktail. Not everyone is about that all the time. A lot of the time, I like to just go for a cocktail as a solo act, reply to your tweets, read the Huffington Post and NY Times on my phone and look at my email. I'm not a fan of obnoxious drunks or people displaying "liquid courage" anymore.

For me, a typical day starts very early, includes working out, meditating and breakfast out. As soon as my feet hit the salon, I'm obsessed with giving my clients the best experience and tending to outside business, phone calls and emails that need my attention as a business man should prioritize them. A late dinner follows as well late tweets and reading a book by my rabbi and an old movie playing in the background.

This summer could be pretty calm and reclusive. More than most.

Slowly, I am either "growing up" as they say or as I view it: refocusing my attentions to what really matters.... just like Joan and Greta would do.

Thanks for the inspiration ladies,
Josh

Volume 02 Hiatus 5/13-6/1 2013

Hello my darlings!

Thank you for reading this volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life". 

I am formally taking time to work on new endeavors, focus on my book, rehabilitate my personal life at home and take time for spiritual awareness. 

I have been so blessed with so many opportunities and want to thank all the #joshafterdark listeners. That chapter has closed and we are now working on volume 3 of "Dancing With the Pueblo Starz" (coming in October) and more education opportunities at Rockstars + Lambs.

Please visit Josh-Cooley.com for more and tweet me personally @studiojry.

I will be appearing May 14th at the Spirit of Women Gala and have the distinct pleasure of styling Ms. Joan Rivers for the event. 

Happy tweeting and see you in June!

-Josh Cooley 

02.13 : A Solo Act

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs!  

Whew! What an amazing eight months it has been.  Tonight, I'm sipping a cup of coffee and took the time to re-read the last Volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life".  I have to say, we started out with some drama and little bitches talking mad shit, had some calm moments, some highs, some more talk and some more lows... although, as I re-read my own words, I can see growth on a personal level.

I have blogged heavily for the last five years, won awards for them and even gotten in trouble for them.  This last volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life" was THE MOST spread out volume.  I generally used to write once or twice a week and these days, it's maybe twice a month... 

I'm learning that feeding the drama online means nothing.  It doesn't elevate me to a higher spiritual plane and I don't feel like fueling the fire of internet gossip anymore.

As I settle in for my Volume 2 hiatus, I wanted to take the time to affirm the following lessons for you that I have learned in the last year and half of blogging about my life as a salon owner.  

LESSON 1: Diet

-eight months ago, I went 90% gluten-free, began juicing and working out.  Eight months later, I feel better than I ever have and am in better shape than I have been in a long time.  I have learned also, that inviting others to dinner is not my priority.  I love cooking, eating alone and even look forward to eating a salad.  That is something I don't think I would have ever said.  Tonight at Mother's Day dinner, I looked forward to a large salad.  Pinch me! 

LESSON 2: Friendships

-I can literally count my trusted individuals on one hand and even then, THEY have the ability to disappoint me. What I've learned is that no body is perfect.  No one! When you start to pick apart people's attitudes, its time to have some distance.  

LESSON 3: The Power of four

-There are two people I will drop anything for and two others that are always there for me.  They don't need to be named and I will not exploit them online.  What you should know is that I don't believe in sharing this precious group with the world as the world influences everything via social media these days.  To protect THEM sand ME, I write stories, but very rarely mention names.  It's for my safety and my heart's safety that we don't get too specific.

LESSON 4: Distance and Silence

-I love being Garbo and vanishing from online, person, public appearances, phone calls and replying to messages.  For some, they have categorized me as withdrawn and a snob, but truly.  I get more done, not feeding the beast known as the public.

LESSON 5: I am not meant to be in love.

-I attempted earlier this year and have pined for the same person in the past and to this day, still do.  Nope.  We're done.  It's time for them to seek ME out.  If that means I'll be lonely forever, then, I prefer it that way.  I would much rather be alone that chase a passive-aggressive long-distance relationship or a promiscuous person I find attractive.  I'm not cheap or low rent, I am HIGH END real estate as far as I'm concerned.  I'm worth more than a broken heart or night of ejaculations.  (sorry to be so graphic) LOL

LESSON 6: California

-Cali taught me that I can make it anywhere.  Cali also taught me that famous doesn't make you special or classy.  Cali doesn't mean you're richer, prettier or thinner than me either. 

LESSON 7: Privacy

-I'm working on alot of projects.  You don't need to know with whom I'm working and frankly, you don't give a shit.  No one funds my company, I do. I am self-made and continue to be.  So, I can disclose what I want or move on without mentioning a word...

LESSON 8: The internet is full of haters.

-I can't even keep track of the feuds.  What you should know is- I do NOT always take the high road and if YOU tweet me negative shit, I will probably retweet and reply.  If you talk shit on Facebook, I will probably screen cap it and make you own up to it.  Also, if you want to approach me in public, you had better be ready for a verbal smackdown.

LESSON 9: I don't need YOU to complete ME.

-I've said once and will say it again, my clientele is my most important asset.  I am proud to be a working stylist, a business owner and will strive to be better.  I don't need a partner or my loved ones to support me.  It's nice if they do, but I'm a solo act.  I will always make the best decisions for me even when others do not agree.

Finally, my loves... as I settle in for a hiatus, I want to tell you.  I am in a good spot.  I need time to think about things... I need to go for walks, be away from people and re-prioritize WHO and WHAT matters.  If you cannot lift me up to shine, I cannot reciprocate.  If all you have is critiques of me and my character, please kindly walk away.  If you are a flake that makes promises and cannot follow through, we will never do business together, break bread or be friends.

I'm alright being solo.  I prefer it...

Let's see what this summer brings.

Josh

2.12 : Move Forward

It's Thirsty Thursday Rockstars + Lambs!

I'm so excited to sit down and write today, you have no idea. 

I'm sitting at Studio JRy updating apps on my iPhone and sipping coffee between clients.  It has been a calm week this week.  Probably too calm for me professionally, but creatively and domestically, it's been pretty awesome. 

From time to time, I like to take the moment not to attend happy hours or events, but more so to work on my home and straighten things up, cook, and shut my phones off.  I talk about this alot, but what I must share with you is that one day of rest = a week of feeling for me.  If I am not permitted at least one day to disconnect every now and then, I burn out faster than a cheap candle. 

I've stayed in the last four evenings and cooked, cleaned, worked on the blogs and projects in my companies and new things coming soon.  We have photoshoots, educational events and public appearances planned and still, I'm working on my book and doing radio shows. 

My life is crazy.

Last time I blogged, there was a snarky comedian attacking me.  As I went in to do the radio show this past week, I walked in with a wall up.  You know "the wall", right?  The kind of face that says, "don't speak to me til spoken to."

The drama this man caused and hateful words he said had all related to my radio show appearances.  In an effort to be professional, I decided to no longer promote the show or the personalities of the show, but to come in and feel out the environment and see if we were going to re-hash the situation or move forward.

We had two options in my head: if we rehash for more than three minutes, I'm taking my headphones off and leaving and quitting the show; or we can be grown-ups and move on.

I walked in silent and sat down.  We didn't discuss anything.  As the host talked to my co-host and friend about the situation, I sternly said with one headphone on, "that situation has been dealt with and I WON'T hear anymore about it tonight.  End of story!"

Everyone got quiet.

I added, "I don't validate behavior like that."

Do I want to gossip?  Yes.  Should I? No.  Did I? Nope.

I'm moving on. 

What I can tell you is that I am constantly humbled by situations in my life.  I have learned that with money comes power, with power comes fame, with fame comes haters, with haters comes slander and from slander to a shit-show.

I'm tired of being a part of the shit-show. 

As with all my jobs, I showed up, did my job and left.  The feeling is gone. 

The show is so much fun to do, but knowing that there is always going to be hateful feelings regarding my words sucks sometimes.  To off-set it, I have to stay inside my shell and go home.  This last four days has taught me that.

My salon recently turned a year old.  I celebrated by myself at home.  One client brought me wine and I finally opened it yesterday.  I didn't receive a card, a phone call, nothing from friends or family.  My anniversary has become just like my birthday: an afterthought.

It would be very easy for me to be a Jehovah's Witness these days without secular holidays or birthdays being celebrated.  The last four years or so of each of them have been lackluster and not worth of being called such.  So... cheers to me. 

I had a dream, made it happen.  It shouldn't surprise anyone.  It seems as though anything cool I do doesn't impress my friends or family anymore.  I just should do my own thing and not involve them, really.

I recently booked a celebrity for styling in May and as I had announced the news to my inner circle, I received stupid questions:

"How did she hear about you?"
"What day is it again?"
"Who?"

All of these kind of trump that fact that I have ARRIVED as a celebrity stylist.  I'm over it to say the least.

Four days at home makes me think that four more could be nice.  Working on my book has been my goal for sometime now and it's coming to fruition as I work on chapters.  I haven't even TWEETED about it!  I haven't let anyone see the material at all.

I have a fear that if I let the cat out of the bag before anything happens, all I'll get asked is "who's gonna buy it?" "what do YOU have to say?" "who is Josh Cooley in the grand scheme of things?"

Being grown up sucks sometimes, ya know?

Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut and let people look like the idiots they can be. I have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is informed or even wants to be.

It's okay.... I'll move forward.  Always have, always do.
Josh

2.11 : A Pharoah's Mission is NOT My Journey

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs!

Chag Pesach Semeach!  As I type this, I am sitting here sipping some cucumber white tea and finishing up some matzo ball soup.  I had the best day away working in my office and getting some items ready for presentation to my accountant (it is tax season, ya know!)

Today, I wanted to take the time away to honor Passover as it occurred at sundown.  I was not raised Jewish, for those of you that have known me for years.  I did, however, make the conscience decision to bring in all of the traditions of Judaism into my home as an adult when I did my own genealogical research of my Spanish ancestry to find that one line was Sephardic.  

Sephardim means Spanish in Hebrew.  My family from Southern Spain were Sephardic Jews that fled to Morocco and came back in the 1800s or so, but had to claim Catholicism because, well, that's what you did then... Spain was very very welcoming in the early days of formation to all cultures and theologies, but in the time of the inquisition, it was Ferdinad and Isabella that said, "Catholicism or die..."

So, most Jewish Spaniards fled to France or Northern Africa.  Some got mixed with the Moors, some married Gypsies, some came to the New World and forgot all about Judaism to begin with.

What I found so prolific in my studies at the Kabbalah Centre was that the Zohar, our primary text, was said to be authored/discovered in Spain.  For me, Friday night Shabbat has included Zohar and Torah study at home, then sometimes a night out to enjoy my friends.  Sometimes, I'm a bit more reserved and stay home.

During Jewish holidays, I practice Kosher cooking and lifestyle and go back to eggs and bacon by Saturday night! LOL.  It's so true, I can't lie.  I love pork just as much as the next guy... must be the Spaniard in me!

I recently read an email from Karen Berg, one of the teachers at The Kabbalah Centre about the power of Passover.

Ya know, for many Jews, they commemorate Moses freeing the Hebrews from Egypt and Pharaoh's ruling, at the Kabbalah Centre, we are taught to look at this story on a MUCH DEEPER level.

We all have thing that "enslave" us.  Ego, Facebook, our jobs, our clients, our diets and sometimes the relationships we have with the ones in our lives.

Karen's message this year was to break free of any "enslavement" we may feel.  For me, I have been on a mission since late last year of removing all hatred and unfulfilling relationships in my life that do not suit me or build me up.

A true friend will hug you when you have royally fucked up in life or with them.  A compassionate friend will NOT judge you even when you do something that seems weak.  A true love in your life feels like water as it runs down your throat and nourishes your organs.

Friends don't roll their eyes.  Friends do not serve as critics and friends to not throw you under the bus to the haters in your life.

I have like three friends. LOL.  Seriously.

This past week, a local comedian made it very clear he did not like me publicly and Facebooked about it and made drama with the radio show I guest host.  This became an issue with the producers and the pair of us and I threatened to leave the show unless they dealt with it.

As Friday night approached and I welcomed the Sabbath, I thought, "give it to the Light of the Sabbath".

Saturday morning and all Friday night I had received harassing messages from this man.  I did not validate his behavior, but as a business man, I took action and let the producers deal with him as he has abused his relation and affiliation with them. I said, "I'll talk to them Monday."

Monday came and we dealt with it and something I can tell you is this: I was very hurt by this man's words because the things he told me were fragments of assumptions he had made up in his mind about me.

Come to find out, I believe my sexuality, my tenacity and my way with words bothered him most.

I've stressed it meany times: I AM NOT JUST SOME DUMB HAIRDRESSER. I am a very educated businessman that is very gifted with words and working with people.  I love to do hair.  I love to write. I love to cook.  I am very spiritual and enjoy watching Bravo TV.

My life is NOT a reality series, but people like him make it seem like one.

On this Pesach, I am removing my ego from being hurt by this man.  He's obviously had some issues in his own life and picking on me via email and Facebook and in his comedy acts seems to get him far.... in his head.

His mission was no better than Pharaoh's.  His mission was to belittle me and use MY WORK to BUILD HIM up.

Sorry.  I'm not your Hebrew.... I will never move a stone for you.  Not to build a pyramid and certainly not to throw at you.  I'm better than that.  

Deep down, I know alot of "friends" and past acquaintances are tired of hearing about my spiritual escapades, but truly, they can't hang yet!  Their souls have NOT matured to hear the calling of their hearts like mine has.

I love to go out, drink and have a good time talking shit, but I am also a philanthropist, a human being and an essence of the Divine spark that made us all.

I don't think the Pharaoh's in our lives have yet seen the spark.  

I'll leave it at that as I've moved on in my journey.  

Happy Passover, lambs.

Josh

2.10 : I can only hint...

Happy Sunday Rockstars and Lambs!

It's me.  Josh Cooley typing away at my laptop here at Studio JRy.

I love to take Sundays to just marinate in thought away from everyone.. except my mom.  She is probably the most important person to me and equally as busy.  Carving out time for her is essential to me and I can't even start to think of taking my Sundays for granted.

I also make time in my life for another person that means the world to me.  Sometimes I place this person on too high of a pedestal and I have to remind myself to "back off" as not to smother him.  The rest of my friends closest to me see me whenever and that's alright with me.  Really.

This week has been a week of stagnancy and lethargy.  Health wise, I've been adjusting my diet to accommodate a gastrointestinal condition I'm suspicious of.  I can't go into too much detail, but only to tell you that I have taken precautions and studied it and researched it and  have come to the conclusion that I'm a lucky son-of-a-bitch if I think it's what it truly is.  I won't die from this disease, but it is something I have been dealing with heavily and more frequently with the last couple years.  Those closest to me know what I'm talking about and I just am hinting in the blog at this point.  

Let's leave it at that.

As part of a my dis-"ease", a common lethargy takes place and makes it almost unbearable for me to want to be motivated to do much else.  Going to the salon, taking care of business and answering emails was about as as much as has gotten accomplished this week.

For me to hold it together and just ignore what's going on is a disservice to me. I just prefer to take time to myself, stay at home and read or remain relatively low-key these days.  

About a month ago, I blogged about the online drama caused by another hairdresser in town and honestly, it's been all about me protecting myself and keeping myself out of harm's way by not being "as present" online or in public.

After this month's sabbatical, I feel like I can continue onto projects in the Studio JRy / Rockstars and Lambs Ltd Universe.

I have the outline for my book and want to give it a voice this spring and write, write, write.  Another project I have in mind is a photoshoot and look book for the salon published by yours truly with collaboration from a photographer.  I've always wanted to work on a book that is for consumers and hairdressers.  1 part coffee table book,  and 1 part instructional for the salon colorist / designer. It's time to begin work on my brand.

I've also been quiet  because I've been working on editorial photoshoots for magazines and marketing.  It's very different working editorially and unlike alot of my creative counterparts, I don't give "too much" info until the final result is about to be released...

So, with health-issues aside (because really, I don't focus on it too much until I flare up), I've been quietly working on projects away from Joico and away from the salon.

Thank you all for reading the blogs and keeping my name present on the internet.  I'll be back sooner than later to share more with you.

Hearts,
JRy