Inside Studio JRy: Did you make the cut?

Good morning friends!

It's about 4:30 am as I type this!

What a night I had!

Wow wow wow! Happy Hour turned into happy night without my knowledge.

All I remember is going home and waking up in my bed.  That's all.

So, now it's 4:30 and I feel rested as I drink alkaline water (yes, I do stuff like that).

I was thinking about a lot of stuff: I have to tell you, I am incredibly concerned about my health all the time.  NOT in a bad way! Don't get me wrong, this last six months has been a journey! 

When you move on from a key person in your life like an ex or a best friend that no longer speaks to you, you start to rebalance your life if it shakes the very core of who you are.

For me, it was giving up meat. It was giving up depending on others and it was me throwing myself into my work.

I laugh at heartbreak these days because I know my habits when I'm upset.  I tend to overbuy items like bottled water and yogurt and vow never to eat meat again. LOL.  It's all very silly in grand scheme of things, it really is.

I feel like I've had a major re-balance in my life as I've hit an echelon others find monotonous or even obnoxious.  People have told me to take a break, people have told me I seem happier, people have told me I seem distant and some people have even said I seem to have it all.

The truth is: I'm very blessed.

As melancholy as I sound at times, I have to say that I don't ever purposely mean to be that way, that's just who I am.  Melancholy is not a bad thing.  Sometimes melancholy is a way of being a realist in a world where people are incredibly fake.

I can't tell you how many fake-ass people I have had around me in the last decade, but I'm glad that they keep their distance.  I can't possibly deal with someone that "pretends" to live a perfect life or have a perfect facade. I believe in the beauty of imperfection and I believe in the wholeness of being alone.

For me, those have been the only two traits in me and in many others that I know to be true.  For others looking into my life, it seems like snobbery or discrimination, but they don't understand that I hold snobbery and discrimination at high value levels in life because it means that you have standards.

That's where I'm at in my life mentally: re-balancing my standards.

I don't have time for evaluations from dumb people that just don't get me and I frankly do not believe I have to explain myself anymore to anyone.

I re-read my last blog about being "defeated" and I think the vulnerable words that were written by that vulnerable person are just that: honest and uncut.

Maybe that's where I'm at in my life: honest and uncut.

Did YOU make the cut?

-J