I'm so excited to sit down and write today, you have no idea.
I'm sitting at Studio JRy updating apps on my iPhone and sipping coffee between clients. It has been a calm week this week. Probably too calm for me professionally, but creatively and domestically, it's been pretty awesome.
From time to time, I like to take the moment not to attend happy hours or events, but more so to work on my home and straighten things up, cook, and shut my phones off. I talk about this alot, but what I must share with you is that one day of rest = a week of feeling for me. If I am not permitted at least one day to disconnect every now and then, I burn out faster than a cheap candle.
I've stayed in the last four evenings and cooked, cleaned, worked on the blogs and projects in my companies and new things coming soon. We have photoshoots, educational events and public appearances planned and still, I'm working on my book and doing radio shows.
My life is crazy.
Last time I blogged, there was a snarky comedian attacking me. As I went in to do the radio show this past week, I walked in with a wall up. You know "the wall", right? The kind of face that says, "don't speak to me til spoken to."
The drama this man caused and hateful words he said had all related to my radio show appearances. In an effort to be professional, I decided to no longer promote the show or the personalities of the show, but to come in and feel out the environment and see if we were going to re-hash the situation or move forward.
We had two options in my head: if we rehash for more than three minutes, I'm taking my headphones off and leaving and quitting the show; or we can be grown-ups and move on.
I walked in silent and sat down. We didn't discuss anything. As the host talked to my co-host and friend about the situation, I sternly said with one headphone on, "that situation has been dealt with and I WON'T hear anymore about it tonight. End of story!"
Everyone got quiet.
I added, "I don't validate behavior like that."
Do I want to gossip? Yes. Should I? No. Did I? Nope.
I'm moving on.
What I can tell you is that I am constantly humbled by situations in my life. I have learned that with money comes power, with power comes fame, with fame comes haters, with haters comes slander and from slander to a shit-show.
I'm tired of being a part of the shit-show.
As with all my jobs, I showed up, did my job and left. The feeling is gone.
The show is so much fun to do, but knowing that there is always going to be hateful feelings regarding my words sucks sometimes. To off-set it, I have to stay inside my shell and go home. This last four days has taught me that.
My salon recently turned a year old. I celebrated by myself at home. One client brought me wine and I finally opened it yesterday. I didn't receive a card, a phone call, nothing from friends or family. My anniversary has become just like my birthday: an afterthought.
It would be very easy for me to be a Jehovah's Witness these days without secular holidays or birthdays being celebrated. The last four years or so of each of them have been lackluster and not worth of being called such. So... cheers to me.
I had a dream, made it happen. It shouldn't surprise anyone. It seems as though anything cool I do doesn't impress my friends or family anymore. I just should do my own thing and not involve them, really.
I recently booked a celebrity for styling in May and as I had announced the news to my inner circle, I received stupid questions:
"How did she hear about you?"
"What day is it again?"
"Who?"
All of these kind of trump that fact that I have ARRIVED as a celebrity stylist. I'm over it to say the least.
Four days at home makes me think that four more could be nice. Working on my book has been my goal for sometime now and it's coming to fruition as I work on chapters. I haven't even TWEETED about it! I haven't let anyone see the material at all.
I have a fear that if I let the cat out of the bag before anything happens, all I'll get asked is "who's gonna buy it?" "what do YOU have to say?" "who is Josh Cooley in the grand scheme of things?"
Being grown up sucks sometimes, ya know?
Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut and let people look like the idiots they can be. I have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is informed or even wants to be.
It's okay.... I'll move forward. Always have, always do.
Josh
