It is about 2am as I sit in my living room at Studio JRy and type.
It's so funny to me when a late night surge of energy comes to me and conjures so many random thoughts, feelings and ambitions.
I am neither a night owl nor a morning person, I'm just Josh and Joshes (if you're not familiar) like to stay up late, sleep a few hours and wake early and cook breakfast and read their Twitter feeds. LOL, but truly, there is no stopping me especially after a crusher of a day (like the one I had yesterday)!
Too many times, someone will ask me when I make time for myself and truly it's the late nights like this that I am truly calm. Right now, I'm sipping iced coffee and almond milk. Don't worry! It's not as much coffee as you're thinking; there's more coffee-flavoring than anything spiking my organic almond beverage.Today, my new computer arrived and truly, I had been kind of sad since my last one took a shit about a year ago. I've maintained blogging on iPads, but truly there is nothing like a keyboard to really get me going! Vroom-vroom....
I recently invested/gifted myself a MacBook for the sake of blogging, writing more material for comedy, editing my draft formally of my manuscript and loading in a much-needed version of quickbooks (at the request of my accountant).
Blogging has always been a part of my life. I look at 2014 though and see that the entries were not as constant and that people had lost some interest in "Rockstar Slums" even though it has 31,000 readers. Yes- you read that figure correctly!
After approximately 500 blog entires, I am shutting the door on my product reviews and beauty favorites. The magazine-style of writing on "Rockstar Slums" no longer thrills me nor does it get the feedback this blog gets.
In 2012, my then-best friend named the blog and since we had our falling out, I cannot bring myself to open that site up or even write anymore. It reminds me of him and all our fights and our unfortunate falling out.
I rarely stop doing something because someone "hurt" my feelings, but honestly, I can't deal with how much he hurt me everytime I have a fucking flashback while reviewing lipstick, face masks and books I'm reading. That kind of jaded feeling is like a pair of handcuffs that someone placed on as a practical joke or in a sense of vindictiveness.
I really do believe saying goodbye to all those eyes will only be a break as I have a new project up my sleeve for 2015. I'm sure you're going to enjoy the new project that hits the internet close to Valentine's Day.
As for ex-besty, I'm sure he's not reading anymore, but I don't want anymore credit given to him or anymore reminders. He's moved on and I haven't fully yet and this is a step I have to take for my own well-being.
Comedy is so much fun, friends! I never wanted to Joan Rivers or Dean Martin, but they are both inspirations to me.
I recently got booked as a featured comedian in September for an event and cannot wait! I have 10 whole minutes of comedy awaiting me. 10 minutes in the comedy world is a VERY long time. Between weekly open-mics and prepping for this event plus my fourth year of presenting and judging at Dancing with the Pueblo Starz, I cannot think of a adding blogs at this time or even focusing on closing one site down officially. It's been fun going onstage and spitting silly words at people.
The fact that people listen and like me is still beyond me. I have a very direct style of talking about sex, gayisms, poor people and weight problems. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but they sure are drinking the Cooley Kool-Aid these days!
....it feels good.
The salon is doing amazingly well and I cannot tell you how many times I have thanked the Universe, Jesus, Krishna and my guests for the abundance I have received.
I really believe (brace yourself, spirituality coming) that The Creator gives us moments to shine when our hearts are deeply wounded and broken.
Andrew walking out of my life was devastating to me. We both were nasty to each other and will point the finger at one another still. I simply didn't speak to him anymore and he made it very clear on the internet and to many sources he did not care for me or my friendship anymore. It was real blow, friends.
All the energy that goes into crying and sulking went into my business. Lucille Ball and Greta Garbo are notorious actresses that both said it was work that got them through difficulties in their personal lives. I believe that whole-heartedly.
I think my adjustments, improvements and major success as of late can be contributed to the negative energy in the form of a man walking out of my life. I should thank him, but I feel like that's giving him too much glory at this time.
Recently aware of his moving to another city, I attempted to congratulate him and he just stood there stiff lipped and made me feel like shit.
I shortly left the establishment we both "coincidentally" happened to be in and knew at that point the nail was in the coffin.
I heard from a friend he asked about me, but does not want to be friends ever again.
Talk about hatefulness and solitude.
The solitude I long for is for concentration only, not hate. His is full of vindictiveness.
Oh friends... what more to say? I wish I could share my success with someone, but right now, this silence, these transitions, the abundance is a lesson I will master.
God throws curve balls and thankfully I had my glove on and was ready to catch. Each time I slip and pick myself up, I can feel him pat me on the back and say "good one", "good game", "let's do it again". There is no "hit the showers" for me.
I haven't gotten dirty enough yet to be sent away.
I guess I just wanted to take this moment of vulnerability to tell you what's on my brain.
Wow! All that from sipping almond milk?
Not too bad.
-Josh
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