Have you ever felt yourself creating more and more conflict in your brain for the mere fact that you just don't know the whole truth? If you're like me, your brain begin to wander when you find that people present themselves one way to your face, one way on the internet and one way in front of a group of people.
How much of this is being polite, living unauthentically or just living a lie?
Also, when someone tells you something false intentionally, do you feel betrayed?
Another thing to put in your cap and shake around is: are white lies really lies?
Let's get started talking about something that pisses me off to no end: LIES and the LIARS that live them.
A "lie" according to Wikipedia is:
1. A false statement made by a person intentionally
1a. Not the whole truth; intentionally deceptive statement.
There is also a "fabrication". A fabrication is
1. A lie told when they are not sure the statement is true.
Here's what I think: I can't stand a bold face lie! Generally people lie to protect themselves from a truth they don't want to admit or they lie because they are holding a secret they don't want to share. Generally that secret is something immoral, immature and unseemly. I've always found this to be true. Those of you reading this and shaking your heads are probably secret holders and should stop reading. I don't believe in secrets.
Fabrication, to be put simply, is a something gossipers (and the Bravo Housewives) use all the time. To me, a fabrication is an assumption you gave verbiage. Fabrication from from the root word "fabricate" which means to create. Basically, your lying ass made shit up. Gossip falls in this category 9/10 times (which is why I hate gossip).
The Joshtionary definition of lies and liars (pertaining to liars, fabricators and gossips everywhere) is defined by ME as:
1. Not being authentic
2. Someone holding a secret that hurts someone or themselves.
3. Not telling the whole truth (that's a "white lie")
Let's begin with
NO. 1: NOT BEING AUTHENTIC
I can't stand a fake ass person! Period. People that lie and fake their lives for the public, their friends, the internet, etc. are liars. They live in delusional worlds where their maladies reign supreme and they can say whatever the fuck they want and not pay for their actions. I find a lot of the new iGeneration to be fake and unauthentic.
I wish sometimes we had a limit on how many tweets and posts we could put in the world. Everyone is an authority now days and very few have worked for this title. Everyone is now a guru and everyone thinks they're friends with everyone on the internet. Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is all one big lie! You, my dear, are living a lie.
I don't and will never understand a person that lies for the sake of lying. When I hear someone lie to me or uncover truth they omitted from sharing with me, I believe you are covering up a secret about yourself that could hurt people or yourself. Which brings me to....
NO. 2: HOLDING A SECRET
I was raised being taught that secrets are bad. Secrets are unnecessary and I find anyone who holds a secret to be no better than Satan himself. Not to be preachy, but the word (not the name) sa-tan means deceiver. A deceiver makes you believe things that are not true. This can bring havoc and chaos to your life and cause analytical people like me to brainfuck themselves into a tailspin of depression (we'll talk about "letting go" in another blog soon, I promise).
I distinctly remember being blocked on the internet by a person I was seeing. The content was blocked because I found out he was sending dick pics, posting sexual stories and provocative material on the internet. This person solicited my friends for sex and this person "cheated" on me multiple times.
When I approached him, he said, "we never made anything exclusive" and would not tell me what he was doing. When I told him I had access to his material, he called me a creep and said that was a deal breaker.
You know why is was a deal breaker? I found his secret world of sexuality that he tried so hard to hide from me that was brought to my attention through my friend! News flash asshole: NOTHING ON THE INTERNET IS PRIVATE!
I feel sorry for him to this day. He lives a life I do not honor or hold in high standards. To me, if you wanna be slut, own it. Samantha Jones on Sex and the City did and Blanche did on Golden Girls, why can't you?
Imagine how betrayed and hurt I was when I found out, then having to crack the code and "creep" to find out everything people told me was true.
I still have a hard time dating....
NO 3: NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH (aka a white lie)
Someone once told me that white lies are harmless. I think this is true. A white lie is simply not confirming info.
Two things people can say I "white lie" or "omit" in my life are:
1. I never confirm where I was born (its not your business)
2. I never confirm who I am or am not dating or seeing romantically (again, sacred and not your business)
I'm not saying that white lies are the grey zone or the loop whole. I think white lies are a way of the person dealing with reality. They, themselves, haven't accepted the truth. For me, I'm not proud of where I was born. I'm partially ashamed. I never confirm because it's not part of my persona really. It has nothing to do with hair, my life or my family. It's not your business. I like being enigmatic. I would much rather you think I swooped into your lives much like Mary Poppins.
I don't confirm dating or romantic interest because I do not have a love life that has ever been honest to me. I have been cheated on three times. I obviously pick the wrong people. I have a "Type" that I like that is not good for me and I frankly don't want your pity or critique. If I choose to give someone multiple chances, that's on me. What a dumb ass! But those are two truths I have yet FULLY accepted about myself.
I wouldn't call this a bold face lie. I would say, white lies are simply non-confirmations.
Okay, little white liars out there. Thank you for reading.
My advice to you is this: dump the people that lie to you in your life, don't tell or hold secrets, and lastly, learn to tell the truth. You'll live a fuller life.
I promise.
JRY
DO YOU HAVE A SUBJECT YOU WANT ME TO COVER OR SOUND OFF ON? Tweet me @studiojry or email jcooley@fastmail.co.uk
