03.03: Don't Be A Bully...Be A Friend

What's up Rockstars + Lambs!

It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I'm just going through my work week trying to tie all of my loose ends together before the weekend starts off. There isn't much going on in my life or much involving many people at this time in my life.

Frankly, I've been more concerned with tending to business and browsing clothes and shoes for a lit of events I have coming up later this year. Is that too diluted of me? I don't think any more than normal.

I had a lot of responses to the last blog and want thank everyone for believing in me and sending well-wishes hoping and praying for a larger salon space. At this time, I haven't followed up at all with any meetings or anything really. I am at a stand-still as I wait for the "ok" from investors. I've never ever ever ever had to work with investors and I'm still not sure as to how I feel about it.

You know, the advice I give people is that: when in doubt, don't do it.

It's hard taking my own advice, ya know? A part of me is very content in my business and part of me is overzealous to get a new concept started with a great staff. The theory of "build it and they WILL COME" is not always a reality.

As I've shared with many my intentions of a cool-ass large salon, some people come up to me and reply:

"I thought you wanted small."

"Are you still going to do hair?"

My closest friends say "do it" and then I have some that doubt me and nothing hurts worse than doubt from a close friend.

I shared with a friend recently that I was pricing real estate and feeling out the market in California... Just a thought.

She abruptly interrupted me with, "So. um. How soon til you make THIS happen?"

I said, "I don't know . Just a thought."

She said, "Josh, you tend to work fast with ideas and if you want it, you normally try to get it ASAP."

I don't agree with her. It took me 18 months to plan Rockstars + Lambs and there are days I'm still NOT happy with my investment. Then, on a smooth day, it's as if God let me know I made a good call.

One of the main things that stops me is that I constantly stop and inspect my finances. I have to be honest: I made ALOT of financial mistakes when I was younger and as I started making GOBS of money, I started partying and buying label-items. Material things don't show you anything about yourself except how much of your bank balance is going away.

When I think of the people I spent money on and look around, not one of those motherfuckers is here to offer advice or a listening ear, much less pick up a drink at the bar.

Most of them have gotten pregnant, married, don't do much for their careers like when we were younger. Nothing. Not one damn thing.

You might call me jaded. HAHa.

I would call me a "burnt bitch". My feelings are still hurt by many things and it has shown the last few months, if not years.

I sometimes feel like the only one on my side is my assistant. She just gets it! She knows my next move before I make it. I have two great friends in my life that are sometimes not all they are in my brain. One of my friends is very critical of the other and the other can offer criticism and it erks my female friend.

Recently, my friend expressed concern that I may be building my best friend up in my mind. I saw her point, but you know what? I don't agree. I don't agree at all. All I see is jealously.

However, on the other hand, I feel very empty in all my "friendly" relationships at this time. It's a sad day at Josh's house.

For me, I feel like if I don't have a "gift" for someone, they don't give a shit. As soon as I give or buy something, they're right there.

The other thing I am not happy with is being talked into a corner by people that have been labeled my confidantes. I don't like someone assuming that talking down to me is the way to allow me room to grow.. it's bullying!

I don't believe that you can befriend a bully and I certainly don't think a good friend would mean to bully.

As I think about the space I'm in mentally, I have to share the following with you:

Last Volume, I had a love interest. The love interest fell through. We had a great couple days (and nights together) and an excuse was made that he would not be able to see me. I have seen this person multiple times out at the same watering hole.

The first time, I was with my best friend and ignored him. The next time I saw him, it was he and I alone in the bar. I asked him if I could speak to him.

He replied, "sure."

As I went to talk to him, my words and demeanor became so transparent that I began to drink more and ask intruding questions, then, I did what I hate most: I BULLIED him into an answer as to why he didn't like me.

He excused himself and went to the restroom. I ordered a shot crown and proceeded to get wasted.

The next morning, I woke up forgetting what had happened verbally at the bar. I was so embarrassed and didn't even remember paying my tab. I did however reach out to both my friends via text with no response received.

As I sat in silence for most the morning, I was annoyed at not only my behavior, but at the double standard that has been applied to me.

I will never bully someone to like me, love me, or want to be with me. But I will make damn sure that if you say you're my friend, you act like one.

One of the most disheartening feelings in the world is the feeling of rejection and with that said, I think it's evident what this post is about.

I've been rejected and critiqued and want it fixed.

Where do I even begin?

I love my friends and want this in my life, but I have to tell you that when I am constantly doubted, rejected and made second best, it's the same as slamming me against a wall and asking me to be quiet.

Don't be a bully. Be my friend.

03.02 : A big leap, a big chance...

What's up Rockstars + Lambs?

It's late on a Monday evening and I'm sitting here catching up on my DVR and sipping coffee and tending to a to-do list.  Actually, I'm taking a break from my to-do list to finally write a blog.

It saddens me when I'm not able to make a connection with my tweethearts through blogging.  I love the connection and reaching out to the public via social media and online sites when I'm not in the salon.  It means a lot to me.

Lately, it's been a bit different for me behind the scenes as I'm changed my after-hours schedule to include an earlier bedtime (hard to believe, I know) and with that said, I find it very hard to calm my mind.  The average set up for me is to turn a majority of the lights off at 10pm at my home and turn the TV down low and begin reading or replying to emails or some of your messages, by 11pm, I try to disconnect myself from my phone and read a spiritual book or watch an old 1930s movie, slowly, sleep sets in and I migrate to my master suite and attempt to stay there til 4:30 or 5 and make my way to the gym...

The biggest thought on my brain keeping me up lately is my longing to expand Rockstars + Lambs to a larger location.  I have found a location about 3,000 square feet (up from my 840 square foot studio) and wonder if its too soon to invest in my future and expand my team. 

There's so many cool things I could do in a bigger space with a team and then there's the overwhelming weight of me NOT wanting to start over again.  Honestly, as a salon owner, there are some things I'm just NOW figuring out. I am to the point where my assistant and I are on the same page and my internship program is a talked-about commidity.

Part of expanding into a larger space is NOT ONLY to be a place for top color and top colorists trained by me, but also to open a training facility for other hairdressers to expand there knowledge through advanced education and to mentor young stylists as I'm doing now.  I said about a year ago that my goal was to grow my brand.

I had to ask myself: what does the Josh Cooley brand include?

My answer was: top skill. top professionalism. top in education.

The key to all this is education. Without being properly trained or educated, no body can grow in any industry they select to be a Rockstar in.  I truly believe that.

In bringing on my assistant as a permanent feature, I've been torn as to how I will manage a staff, teach and mentor.  I need a director of the Josh Cooley brand.  Most people tell me "well, Josh, that's you!"

No.  I'm the Creative Director.  I say use Joico color and listen to Beth Minardi and myself and reference Vidal Sassoon, but put the Josh spin on it."

That's being creative.

A director manages the facility, the money and the growth of the brand. My goal has always been to bring my mom into the equation. For 30 years, she has managed restaurants under my dad's franchise and she is very good at it.  The restaurant industry and the salon industry are different, but have one thing in common: guest satisfaction.

I think she'd be good at this.  

As part of growing my brand and education brand, I have begun work on new imagery and working on books to go with the proper tools needed to create a truly independent professional stylist.  It is hard work!  It has taken me eight years to understand the equation, with the last five being very successful and first one being a drag.

I have worked for three major haircare companies and educated thousands of professionals and STILL do not feel as though I have arrived fully as an industry educator.  I often feel "dumbed" down by manufacturers due to the politics involved in booking a class.

When I started booking Josh Cooley: Atelier classes privately, my reputation surpassed me.  As much as I love working with the Joico and Minardi brands, I feel very sad that they have not fully utilized me as an important color educator in my native territory.  I had to take things into my own hands and begin teaching MY WAY.

I have NEVER let a company hold me down or put me in a box and as much as I have loved all my business associates, that is all they ever become. They never have truly become my partner.  I invest thousands of dollars year into being brand specific and hope that one day, they reciprocate and invest in me.

With that being a far and few dream, I created the education at Rockstars + Lambs and trained seven young colorists and over 200 professionals at various Academies in Colorado.

Why wouldn't I gamble it all and invest in a bigger space?

It can only get better, right?