Good evening lambs,
Well, it's a couple days after Thanksgiving and I have taken a couple weeks away from the blog to rest and not worry about my online life so much.
The salon has been INCREDIBLY busy the last three weeks and this week, I took a 5-day hiatus from Rockstars + Lambs. That is my first time EVER doing that! Come Christmas, I'll do the same and come January, I will be out of state on business, so this is something people will have to get used to.
Part of being busy has me been being so busy that I have slowed down on Twitter and Facebook and if I can be quite honest and share something candid with you: I kind of like it. I like NOT HAVING my WHOLE life and movement on the internet.
As I was going through my apps on my iPhone and my settings on every source of social media, I realized I have a lot of eyes watching me. I have always prayed for this moment and have recently felt very agoraphobic when it comes to WHO is watching me. I have a lot of close friends that are "following", but can't recite anything major to me, but when something remotely negative or "gray" is posted online, all of a sudden, they ask questions.
Are these people JUST LOOKING for drama? Are they negativity seekers? Are they just trying to find something to bash me over the head with or am I just paranoid?
With that said, I've held off on the tweeting, FB posts and even blogging. I have been around people lately that have told me they've had to "explain" to mutual friends how "I am". Explaining what "being Garbo" is like it's a bad thing. Honestly, it's not. I just want to sleep. My wheels are spinning in circles because all I have noticed is that there is constantly a critique I hear about or see acted out in front of me. Sometimes, I'm good about handling it, lately, I'm appauled.
Regardless of all that bullshit and internal battle I just typed about, the most important thing to me is my clientele and business. Part of this business and staying in the game and being relevant is always having a "booked" schedule. It does not matter if you are 1 year in or 20 years in, people that cancel last minute, flakes and demanding clients that feel "entitled" are wearing on me gradually.
I had a lady tell me she was leaving me because she couldn't get in in a week and she is aware of how busy I can get, she point blank, let me know she is going somewhere else when I have taken time to reach out three times prior to get her back on schedule. I'm so tired of it! I'm so tired of the bullshit people throw at you about how they want YOU right NOW for THEM! (that's a bit much, if you ask me..)
You know, when I want a day off or don't feel well, I am expected to be there with a smile on my face. When people walk in five minutes late or fifteen minutes behind, I'm supposed to turn the other cheek, I'm deeply over it.
To get past this frustration, I have been locking myself away at home, reading, juicing, praying and sleeping. I am not about the nightlife or the people that inhabit it as of late. All I ever hear about it people seeing mutual friends of mine and them having side-conversation about my whereabouts. For me, I'm over it. I'm over the complacency of the scene and the people in it. I don't do things for free or promo things out for my friends because I believe giving things away for free de-values yourself... and frankly, they take advantage of you.
I also know how to say "no". I rarely do something "sporadically" and if it's not planned or on the agenda, it just doesn't happen. I'm sorry to say this, but YES, my life is planned out. I don't want to be texted in the morning and asked to go out THAT same evening... it's not enough time. I need minimum of a week's notice. I generally plan my life two months - a season out.
Tonight, as I finish updating blogs, etc, I'm Christmas shopping and shopping for my trip to California. Last week was nasty on my diet, so I will need to reclaim my spot on the juice-train and continue on til January 4th when I leave to work with Joico. I'm so excited for this adventure! I have noticed that it's FINALLY sinking in for most people that I am taking on a new chapter of my life. Some are scared, thinking I'll never return and some are critical of my decision to add on another project, but honestly... it's been a month or so of loneliness and as I sit here and make my Christmas list, I have four names on it.
Those are the four names that count.
Josh
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