03.01 : Refocusing thanks to Joan and Greta

Good afternoon lambs,

It's about 12:30 pm in the afternoon and I am tapping away at my keyboard sipping a water and listening to Brazilian Bossa Nova. It's been a rather calm morning and looks like it's going to be quite the busy afternoon.

When I last left you at the end of last volume, I was on my journey of being solo and disconnecting from obligation to friends and expectations and what I can tell you is that when I checked my Facebook inbox, I had a great deal of messages asking me if I was alright. The true story to all this is that I needed time to think about what my next goal in life is going to be. Owning a small salon and being a public figure in my demographic is nice, but as the natural progression of things takes place, I of course, want more professionally.

Last month, I had the pleasure of meeting one of my mentors, Ms. Joan Rivers and we had a delightful little talk while I did her hair. He last words to me were "dump the boyfriend and move to LA."

Firstly, there's no boyfriend. But what I took this as was to dump all my yearnings for one particular person. As the month went on, I was in very little contact with one of the most important people to me. It gave me time to think about expanding my business into a much larger space and think about hiring a staff and making some waves HAPPEN in this community.

Also, my five year plan is to launch a kick-ass staff, an education facility for other hairdressers and start traveling to LA for work on bigger projects throughout the year.

I have to tell you, Joan really inspired me that day. Not just that day, but for many years now. In the bar, I want to emulate her comedy. With my friends, I want to be as worldly and classy as she is, but behind the scenes, she's alot like me. She's quiet, hilariously quiet at that, and has exquisite manners and does not desire to talk to multiple people for too long.

Like Joan, I love meeting people and familiar faces, but also like Joan, I like to curl up with a book and write.

Like Joan, I like the spotlight to be on me, but also like Joan, I don't like be around large crowds of strangers.

I think if Greta Garbo would have been alive, she would have enjoyed Ms. Rivers' humor.

One thing I love about Joan is her philanthropy and charity work and as my assistant pointed out, I have always been involved in charity work. I tend to be very quiet about my causes as I was taught by my rabbi not to bring attention to charitable contributions because it would not be considered giving from my heart, but for public recognition.

As usual, my mother has been my main confidante these past few weeks, but even at that, we have had our distance and she has noticed the difference in my outlook on business, love and friendships. I'm a bit more muted and even though I get hurt by the actions of others, I have to be honest in saying: I think they are completely oblivious to the fact that they have hurt me.

In the last few weeks, I have taken one of my interns and brought her on board as my color assistant and style associate. She is amazing and compliments the salon very very well.

I've had many a lonely walk and lonely drink these past five weeks by myself and have allowed my close friends and others to move on to other projects and crowds. They're not fired, but I feel that they need a change from some of the monotony of hanging with me.

I love to talk about business or make inappropriate jokes while sipping the same cocktail. Not everyone is about that all the time. A lot of the time, I like to just go for a cocktail as a solo act, reply to your tweets, read the Huffington Post and NY Times on my phone and look at my email. I'm not a fan of obnoxious drunks or people displaying "liquid courage" anymore.

For me, a typical day starts very early, includes working out, meditating and breakfast out. As soon as my feet hit the salon, I'm obsessed with giving my clients the best experience and tending to outside business, phone calls and emails that need my attention as a business man should prioritize them. A late dinner follows as well late tweets and reading a book by my rabbi and an old movie playing in the background.

This summer could be pretty calm and reclusive. More than most.

Slowly, I am either "growing up" as they say or as I view it: refocusing my attentions to what really matters.... just like Joan and Greta would do.

Thanks for the inspiration ladies,
Josh

Volume 02 Hiatus 5/13-6/1 2013

Hello my darlings!

Thank you for reading this volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life". 

I am formally taking time to work on new endeavors, focus on my book, rehabilitate my personal life at home and take time for spiritual awareness. 

I have been so blessed with so many opportunities and want to thank all the #joshafterdark listeners. That chapter has closed and we are now working on volume 3 of "Dancing With the Pueblo Starz" (coming in October) and more education opportunities at Rockstars + Lambs.

Please visit Josh-Cooley.com for more and tweet me personally @studiojry.

I will be appearing May 14th at the Spirit of Women Gala and have the distinct pleasure of styling Ms. Joan Rivers for the event. 

Happy tweeting and see you in June!

-Josh Cooley 

02.13 : A Solo Act

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs!  

Whew! What an amazing eight months it has been.  Tonight, I'm sipping a cup of coffee and took the time to re-read the last Volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life".  I have to say, we started out with some drama and little bitches talking mad shit, had some calm moments, some highs, some more talk and some more lows... although, as I re-read my own words, I can see growth on a personal level.

I have blogged heavily for the last five years, won awards for them and even gotten in trouble for them.  This last volume of "Pretty World, Fabulous Life" was THE MOST spread out volume.  I generally used to write once or twice a week and these days, it's maybe twice a month... 

I'm learning that feeding the drama online means nothing.  It doesn't elevate me to a higher spiritual plane and I don't feel like fueling the fire of internet gossip anymore.

As I settle in for my Volume 2 hiatus, I wanted to take the time to affirm the following lessons for you that I have learned in the last year and half of blogging about my life as a salon owner.  

LESSON 1: Diet

-eight months ago, I went 90% gluten-free, began juicing and working out.  Eight months later, I feel better than I ever have and am in better shape than I have been in a long time.  I have learned also, that inviting others to dinner is not my priority.  I love cooking, eating alone and even look forward to eating a salad.  That is something I don't think I would have ever said.  Tonight at Mother's Day dinner, I looked forward to a large salad.  Pinch me! 

LESSON 2: Friendships

-I can literally count my trusted individuals on one hand and even then, THEY have the ability to disappoint me. What I've learned is that no body is perfect.  No one! When you start to pick apart people's attitudes, its time to have some distance.  

LESSON 3: The Power of four

-There are two people I will drop anything for and two others that are always there for me.  They don't need to be named and I will not exploit them online.  What you should know is that I don't believe in sharing this precious group with the world as the world influences everything via social media these days.  To protect THEM sand ME, I write stories, but very rarely mention names.  It's for my safety and my heart's safety that we don't get too specific.

LESSON 4: Distance and Silence

-I love being Garbo and vanishing from online, person, public appearances, phone calls and replying to messages.  For some, they have categorized me as withdrawn and a snob, but truly.  I get more done, not feeding the beast known as the public.

LESSON 5: I am not meant to be in love.

-I attempted earlier this year and have pined for the same person in the past and to this day, still do.  Nope.  We're done.  It's time for them to seek ME out.  If that means I'll be lonely forever, then, I prefer it that way.  I would much rather be alone that chase a passive-aggressive long-distance relationship or a promiscuous person I find attractive.  I'm not cheap or low rent, I am HIGH END real estate as far as I'm concerned.  I'm worth more than a broken heart or night of ejaculations.  (sorry to be so graphic) LOL

LESSON 6: California

-Cali taught me that I can make it anywhere.  Cali also taught me that famous doesn't make you special or classy.  Cali doesn't mean you're richer, prettier or thinner than me either. 

LESSON 7: Privacy

-I'm working on alot of projects.  You don't need to know with whom I'm working and frankly, you don't give a shit.  No one funds my company, I do. I am self-made and continue to be.  So, I can disclose what I want or move on without mentioning a word...

LESSON 8: The internet is full of haters.

-I can't even keep track of the feuds.  What you should know is- I do NOT always take the high road and if YOU tweet me negative shit, I will probably retweet and reply.  If you talk shit on Facebook, I will probably screen cap it and make you own up to it.  Also, if you want to approach me in public, you had better be ready for a verbal smackdown.

LESSON 9: I don't need YOU to complete ME.

-I've said once and will say it again, my clientele is my most important asset.  I am proud to be a working stylist, a business owner and will strive to be better.  I don't need a partner or my loved ones to support me.  It's nice if they do, but I'm a solo act.  I will always make the best decisions for me even when others do not agree.

Finally, my loves... as I settle in for a hiatus, I want to tell you.  I am in a good spot.  I need time to think about things... I need to go for walks, be away from people and re-prioritize WHO and WHAT matters.  If you cannot lift me up to shine, I cannot reciprocate.  If all you have is critiques of me and my character, please kindly walk away.  If you are a flake that makes promises and cannot follow through, we will never do business together, break bread or be friends.

I'm alright being solo.  I prefer it...

Let's see what this summer brings.

Josh

2.12 : Move Forward

It's Thirsty Thursday Rockstars + Lambs!

I'm so excited to sit down and write today, you have no idea. 

I'm sitting at Studio JRy updating apps on my iPhone and sipping coffee between clients.  It has been a calm week this week.  Probably too calm for me professionally, but creatively and domestically, it's been pretty awesome. 

From time to time, I like to take the moment not to attend happy hours or events, but more so to work on my home and straighten things up, cook, and shut my phones off.  I talk about this alot, but what I must share with you is that one day of rest = a week of feeling for me.  If I am not permitted at least one day to disconnect every now and then, I burn out faster than a cheap candle. 

I've stayed in the last four evenings and cooked, cleaned, worked on the blogs and projects in my companies and new things coming soon.  We have photoshoots, educational events and public appearances planned and still, I'm working on my book and doing radio shows. 

My life is crazy.

Last time I blogged, there was a snarky comedian attacking me.  As I went in to do the radio show this past week, I walked in with a wall up.  You know "the wall", right?  The kind of face that says, "don't speak to me til spoken to."

The drama this man caused and hateful words he said had all related to my radio show appearances.  In an effort to be professional, I decided to no longer promote the show or the personalities of the show, but to come in and feel out the environment and see if we were going to re-hash the situation or move forward.

We had two options in my head: if we rehash for more than three minutes, I'm taking my headphones off and leaving and quitting the show; or we can be grown-ups and move on.

I walked in silent and sat down.  We didn't discuss anything.  As the host talked to my co-host and friend about the situation, I sternly said with one headphone on, "that situation has been dealt with and I WON'T hear anymore about it tonight.  End of story!"

Everyone got quiet.

I added, "I don't validate behavior like that."

Do I want to gossip?  Yes.  Should I? No.  Did I? Nope.

I'm moving on. 

What I can tell you is that I am constantly humbled by situations in my life.  I have learned that with money comes power, with power comes fame, with fame comes haters, with haters comes slander and from slander to a shit-show.

I'm tired of being a part of the shit-show. 

As with all my jobs, I showed up, did my job and left.  The feeling is gone. 

The show is so much fun to do, but knowing that there is always going to be hateful feelings regarding my words sucks sometimes.  To off-set it, I have to stay inside my shell and go home.  This last four days has taught me that.

My salon recently turned a year old.  I celebrated by myself at home.  One client brought me wine and I finally opened it yesterday.  I didn't receive a card, a phone call, nothing from friends or family.  My anniversary has become just like my birthday: an afterthought.

It would be very easy for me to be a Jehovah's Witness these days without secular holidays or birthdays being celebrated.  The last four years or so of each of them have been lackluster and not worth of being called such.  So... cheers to me. 

I had a dream, made it happen.  It shouldn't surprise anyone.  It seems as though anything cool I do doesn't impress my friends or family anymore.  I just should do my own thing and not involve them, really.

I recently booked a celebrity for styling in May and as I had announced the news to my inner circle, I received stupid questions:

"How did she hear about you?"
"What day is it again?"
"Who?"

All of these kind of trump that fact that I have ARRIVED as a celebrity stylist.  I'm over it to say the least.

Four days at home makes me think that four more could be nice.  Working on my book has been my goal for sometime now and it's coming to fruition as I work on chapters.  I haven't even TWEETED about it!  I haven't let anyone see the material at all.

I have a fear that if I let the cat out of the bag before anything happens, all I'll get asked is "who's gonna buy it?" "what do YOU have to say?" "who is Josh Cooley in the grand scheme of things?"

Being grown up sucks sometimes, ya know?

Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut and let people look like the idiots they can be. I have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is informed or even wants to be.

It's okay.... I'll move forward.  Always have, always do.
Josh

2.11 : A Pharoah's Mission is NOT My Journey

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs!

Chag Pesach Semeach!  As I type this, I am sitting here sipping some cucumber white tea and finishing up some matzo ball soup.  I had the best day away working in my office and getting some items ready for presentation to my accountant (it is tax season, ya know!)

Today, I wanted to take the time away to honor Passover as it occurred at sundown.  I was not raised Jewish, for those of you that have known me for years.  I did, however, make the conscience decision to bring in all of the traditions of Judaism into my home as an adult when I did my own genealogical research of my Spanish ancestry to find that one line was Sephardic.  

Sephardim means Spanish in Hebrew.  My family from Southern Spain were Sephardic Jews that fled to Morocco and came back in the 1800s or so, but had to claim Catholicism because, well, that's what you did then... Spain was very very welcoming in the early days of formation to all cultures and theologies, but in the time of the inquisition, it was Ferdinad and Isabella that said, "Catholicism or die..."

So, most Jewish Spaniards fled to France or Northern Africa.  Some got mixed with the Moors, some married Gypsies, some came to the New World and forgot all about Judaism to begin with.

What I found so prolific in my studies at the Kabbalah Centre was that the Zohar, our primary text, was said to be authored/discovered in Spain.  For me, Friday night Shabbat has included Zohar and Torah study at home, then sometimes a night out to enjoy my friends.  Sometimes, I'm a bit more reserved and stay home.

During Jewish holidays, I practice Kosher cooking and lifestyle and go back to eggs and bacon by Saturday night! LOL.  It's so true, I can't lie.  I love pork just as much as the next guy... must be the Spaniard in me!

I recently read an email from Karen Berg, one of the teachers at The Kabbalah Centre about the power of Passover.

Ya know, for many Jews, they commemorate Moses freeing the Hebrews from Egypt and Pharaoh's ruling, at the Kabbalah Centre, we are taught to look at this story on a MUCH DEEPER level.

We all have thing that "enslave" us.  Ego, Facebook, our jobs, our clients, our diets and sometimes the relationships we have with the ones in our lives.

Karen's message this year was to break free of any "enslavement" we may feel.  For me, I have been on a mission since late last year of removing all hatred and unfulfilling relationships in my life that do not suit me or build me up.

A true friend will hug you when you have royally fucked up in life or with them.  A compassionate friend will NOT judge you even when you do something that seems weak.  A true love in your life feels like water as it runs down your throat and nourishes your organs.

Friends don't roll their eyes.  Friends do not serve as critics and friends to not throw you under the bus to the haters in your life.

I have like three friends. LOL.  Seriously.

This past week, a local comedian made it very clear he did not like me publicly and Facebooked about it and made drama with the radio show I guest host.  This became an issue with the producers and the pair of us and I threatened to leave the show unless they dealt with it.

As Friday night approached and I welcomed the Sabbath, I thought, "give it to the Light of the Sabbath".

Saturday morning and all Friday night I had received harassing messages from this man.  I did not validate his behavior, but as a business man, I took action and let the producers deal with him as he has abused his relation and affiliation with them. I said, "I'll talk to them Monday."

Monday came and we dealt with it and something I can tell you is this: I was very hurt by this man's words because the things he told me were fragments of assumptions he had made up in his mind about me.

Come to find out, I believe my sexuality, my tenacity and my way with words bothered him most.

I've stressed it meany times: I AM NOT JUST SOME DUMB HAIRDRESSER. I am a very educated businessman that is very gifted with words and working with people.  I love to do hair.  I love to write. I love to cook.  I am very spiritual and enjoy watching Bravo TV.

My life is NOT a reality series, but people like him make it seem like one.

On this Pesach, I am removing my ego from being hurt by this man.  He's obviously had some issues in his own life and picking on me via email and Facebook and in his comedy acts seems to get him far.... in his head.

His mission was no better than Pharaoh's.  His mission was to belittle me and use MY WORK to BUILD HIM up.

Sorry.  I'm not your Hebrew.... I will never move a stone for you.  Not to build a pyramid and certainly not to throw at you.  I'm better than that.  

Deep down, I know alot of "friends" and past acquaintances are tired of hearing about my spiritual escapades, but truly, they can't hang yet!  Their souls have NOT matured to hear the calling of their hearts like mine has.

I love to go out, drink and have a good time talking shit, but I am also a philanthropist, a human being and an essence of the Divine spark that made us all.

I don't think the Pharaoh's in our lives have yet seen the spark.  

I'll leave it at that as I've moved on in my journey.  

Happy Passover, lambs.

Josh

2.10 : I can only hint...

Happy Sunday Rockstars and Lambs!

It's me.  Josh Cooley typing away at my laptop here at Studio JRy.

I love to take Sundays to just marinate in thought away from everyone.. except my mom.  She is probably the most important person to me and equally as busy.  Carving out time for her is essential to me and I can't even start to think of taking my Sundays for granted.

I also make time in my life for another person that means the world to me.  Sometimes I place this person on too high of a pedestal and I have to remind myself to "back off" as not to smother him.  The rest of my friends closest to me see me whenever and that's alright with me.  Really.

This week has been a week of stagnancy and lethargy.  Health wise, I've been adjusting my diet to accommodate a gastrointestinal condition I'm suspicious of.  I can't go into too much detail, but only to tell you that I have taken precautions and studied it and researched it and  have come to the conclusion that I'm a lucky son-of-a-bitch if I think it's what it truly is.  I won't die from this disease, but it is something I have been dealing with heavily and more frequently with the last couple years.  Those closest to me know what I'm talking about and I just am hinting in the blog at this point.  

Let's leave it at that.

As part of a my dis-"ease", a common lethargy takes place and makes it almost unbearable for me to want to be motivated to do much else.  Going to the salon, taking care of business and answering emails was about as as much as has gotten accomplished this week.

For me to hold it together and just ignore what's going on is a disservice to me. I just prefer to take time to myself, stay at home and read or remain relatively low-key these days.  

About a month ago, I blogged about the online drama caused by another hairdresser in town and honestly, it's been all about me protecting myself and keeping myself out of harm's way by not being "as present" online or in public.

After this month's sabbatical, I feel like I can continue onto projects in the Studio JRy / Rockstars and Lambs Ltd Universe.

I have the outline for my book and want to give it a voice this spring and write, write, write.  Another project I have in mind is a photoshoot and look book for the salon published by yours truly with collaboration from a photographer.  I've always wanted to work on a book that is for consumers and hairdressers.  1 part coffee table book,  and 1 part instructional for the salon colorist / designer. It's time to begin work on my brand.

I've also been quiet  because I've been working on editorial photoshoots for magazines and marketing.  It's very different working editorially and unlike alot of my creative counterparts, I don't give "too much" info until the final result is about to be released...

So, with health-issues aside (because really, I don't focus on it too much until I flare up), I've been quietly working on projects away from Joico and away from the salon.

Thank you all for reading the blogs and keeping my name present on the internet.  I'll be back sooner than later to share more with you.

Hearts,
JRy

02.09 : What's wrong with that?

Good afternoon my dahling and beloved lambily,

How are you today?

It is a chilly SoCo afternoon.  I'm sipping coffee at Studio JRy, listening to John Lennon on Pandora and gettting ready to head out for lunch.  It has been one crazy administrative day in my office.  

It is officially tax season and during tax season, I want to curl up in a little ball of angst and be left alone as I look at profits and losses at the salon and expenses that are sometimes absolutely unreasonable to pay, but we all pay our "fair share", right?

So, lately I've been taking administrative days to work in my office and honestly, it just gets out of control at times.  I have folders, upon folders of things to go through, numbers that have not been properly added and balances that have carried over or are just hard to understand.  Any mogul or small business owner understands what I'm going through right now.  It's no fun.  Whether you are Donald Trump or ma and pop, this time of the year is a pain in the ass.

As I look at my to-do lists on Sunday night going into Monday morning, I see so many items that are just not going to get taken care of.  I have attempted to work on my book and as of now, only the skeleton is done, no actual verbiage.  Only blurbs.  I'm like, "man!"

My lifestyle blog "Rockstar Slums" is a bonafide hit and is my most-viewed blog of all-time.  Little microblogs about fashion, style and my life make for a very visited website daily... we are tracking into the thousands these days.  I love writing.  It is such a passion of mine next to doing hair and I love staying relevant in the online world.  It's very gratifying.

This past week of online fun was interpreted by a young woman that happens to be a client of a woman I used to work with.  On Friday morning, I looked to my surprise to be shocked my two paragraphs of hateful messages on an Instagram picture.  As the day went on, I posted her comments for all to see which resulted in Facebook suspending my profile and tearing down words and images pertaining to this girl's assault on me.  As I was given back access, I received an email from a relative of hers threatening me and telling me to "watch my back".

Cyber terrorism turned to bodily threats very fast.  

I attempted to contacted this young girl's mom and was lectured about my doings.  It's sad to know that parents will defend their children when they are wrong and assaulting people.  The mom tweeted me and went into a full-blown Twitter war with me Saturday morning.

As I evaluate this situation in my head, I'm upset with the fact that something as cool as social media can become something disgusting.  Especially when a whole family gangs up on you.  This situation leaves me looking as dramatic as all of them.  I'm not proud of this and am taking every legal precaution I can.  Attorneys and the authorities have been notified and I have logged all suspicious behavior and direct contact.

I don't have time for this bullshit.

In all honestly, if a millionaire offered me money and a plane ticket outta dodge, I'd take it.  I'm tired of justifying my self and my confident business man mentality to drones of complacent people in this market.  They simply don't get it or get me.

As I sit here doing taxes and blogging, I keep my eyes on the prize: a brand, a book and a life with my name on it.  My main goals behind the scenes are to redecorate my office and living room and get a new car.  How would someone cyber attacking relate to me when they're too busy looking for shit to throw at me?

At the end of the day, I'm just a young guy that wants a happy life.  For that reason, I've stayed away from people.  Some were business associates of mine, some were friends... it's much easier keeping my nose clean in my home tapping away at my laptop or iPhone... at least, that's what I thought.

It will never cease to amaze me how jealous people can become and how people forget we are all humans with feelings, families and separate lives.

I want to better mine...

What's wrong with that?

I have no time to deal with drama, especially from dramatic little girls that have nothing going for them.

-JRy