02.09 : What's wrong with that?

Good afternoon my dahling and beloved lambily,

How are you today?

It is a chilly SoCo afternoon.  I'm sipping coffee at Studio JRy, listening to John Lennon on Pandora and gettting ready to head out for lunch.  It has been one crazy administrative day in my office.  

It is officially tax season and during tax season, I want to curl up in a little ball of angst and be left alone as I look at profits and losses at the salon and expenses that are sometimes absolutely unreasonable to pay, but we all pay our "fair share", right?

So, lately I've been taking administrative days to work in my office and honestly, it just gets out of control at times.  I have folders, upon folders of things to go through, numbers that have not been properly added and balances that have carried over or are just hard to understand.  Any mogul or small business owner understands what I'm going through right now.  It's no fun.  Whether you are Donald Trump or ma and pop, this time of the year is a pain in the ass.

As I look at my to-do lists on Sunday night going into Monday morning, I see so many items that are just not going to get taken care of.  I have attempted to work on my book and as of now, only the skeleton is done, no actual verbiage.  Only blurbs.  I'm like, "man!"

My lifestyle blog "Rockstar Slums" is a bonafide hit and is my most-viewed blog of all-time.  Little microblogs about fashion, style and my life make for a very visited website daily... we are tracking into the thousands these days.  I love writing.  It is such a passion of mine next to doing hair and I love staying relevant in the online world.  It's very gratifying.

This past week of online fun was interpreted by a young woman that happens to be a client of a woman I used to work with.  On Friday morning, I looked to my surprise to be shocked my two paragraphs of hateful messages on an Instagram picture.  As the day went on, I posted her comments for all to see which resulted in Facebook suspending my profile and tearing down words and images pertaining to this girl's assault on me.  As I was given back access, I received an email from a relative of hers threatening me and telling me to "watch my back".

Cyber terrorism turned to bodily threats very fast.  

I attempted to contacted this young girl's mom and was lectured about my doings.  It's sad to know that parents will defend their children when they are wrong and assaulting people.  The mom tweeted me and went into a full-blown Twitter war with me Saturday morning.

As I evaluate this situation in my head, I'm upset with the fact that something as cool as social media can become something disgusting.  Especially when a whole family gangs up on you.  This situation leaves me looking as dramatic as all of them.  I'm not proud of this and am taking every legal precaution I can.  Attorneys and the authorities have been notified and I have logged all suspicious behavior and direct contact.

I don't have time for this bullshit.

In all honestly, if a millionaire offered me money and a plane ticket outta dodge, I'd take it.  I'm tired of justifying my self and my confident business man mentality to drones of complacent people in this market.  They simply don't get it or get me.

As I sit here doing taxes and blogging, I keep my eyes on the prize: a brand, a book and a life with my name on it.  My main goals behind the scenes are to redecorate my office and living room and get a new car.  How would someone cyber attacking relate to me when they're too busy looking for shit to throw at me?

At the end of the day, I'm just a young guy that wants a happy life.  For that reason, I've stayed away from people.  Some were business associates of mine, some were friends... it's much easier keeping my nose clean in my home tapping away at my laptop or iPhone... at least, that's what I thought.

It will never cease to amaze me how jealous people can become and how people forget we are all humans with feelings, families and separate lives.

I want to better mine...

What's wrong with that?

I have no time to deal with drama, especially from dramatic little girls that have nothing going for them.

-JRy

02.08 : Not A Snob, Just Professional

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs,

I am happily sitting here sipping a Perrier and reflecting on my life.

Can I be honest with you?

My life as a CEO has gotten busier.  Lots of books, budgeting, etc.  Seriously,  I have been number-crunching since January 1st.  I don't think I've ever crunched this many numbers EVER! 

Recently, I've taken my schedule and done a complete overhaul of how I look at business.  Whether or not I'm with guests 6-days a week does not mean anything.  I was advised by Stever Robins (author of "Get It Done Guy" podcast, column and book) to look at my schedule and take two of my days and make them "admin" days.  So, I decided Mondays and Fridays would be those days.  Even if I'm with guests, I tend to book-keeping, bill paying, payroll, ordering and inventories those days. Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday, I think purely salon and sometimes my creative life. 

As you know, this past year has a been a year of transition for me.  I opened the salon and continued to grow my brand as a writer, blogger and educator.  With all four facets of my life, we add in radio-show guest host and sometimes event guest speaker, presenter and host.  So.... how do we get this balanced.  The fact is, I'm doing twenty jobs and managing my own career crazily because I'm at the bring of "will it" or "won't it".

If I get busier and starting touring with this company heavier, obviously, there's more income coming in.  The blogs and my column do not yield me any income.  They do propel my business forward and help keep me relevant though, so they are important. My creative life is very important to me.

Something I've pulled away from for months now is going out with friends and buying things for them.  Funny how they vanish, huh?  No buy, no friend.  Experiment complete.  

Wanna know something funny?  I'm not even sad about it.

I'm too fucking busy to be sad about shallow bitches, anyway.. but I digress.

As I've propelled myself into my business and it's many facets, I've taken time to work in my salon at the desk nightly and balance the books, look at profits and losses in great detail and even had my first "administrative" day of the year today.  It wasn't too bad!  I worked a good six hours (4 at Studio JRy and 2 at Rockstars and Lambs). It helped catch me up when I know an hour after I'm finished with clients just won't suffice.

There have been events and invitations brought my way that I have declined more than normal.  We're taking declining 8/10 events at this point and even my family has gotten in on it.  Really, what more do you have at the end of the day?  Your partner, your children, your family is what matters. Alot of the time we do what we need to for the well-being of our families.

I used to be prey to anything my clients wanted, at this point in my career, I'm not.  I have a life too.  I have business hours.  I saw a very good former client of mine that said she left me merely because I'm "not convenient" to see.  Sorry.  You have a life and so do I.  I respect your time, please respect mine.

With all the hussle and bussle, I have to say, my intern/assistant has been a huge asset for me.  Sometimes, it's boring and we do not always get to doing hair, but her helping me with tasks around the salon helps me greatly!  I love it!  I need an assistant for my house.

Today as I was walking down the street to the salon, a girl stopped me and asked me if she could apprentice to be a make-up artist.  I said she needed to register in a program, gets some months in on the floor and come see me.  She looked at me with her marijuana-tinged person and said, "gees.  I just want to do make-up!"  

Well, we all wanted to be whatever it was we set out to be, the fact is that there's a way to go about that.  Either you are made for this industry, or you are not.  At this point, she isn't. She's not serious.  She smelled like weed and was sitting outside a coffee shop in a camisole with her greasy hair pulled back revealing her greasy face.  Gimme a break, baby girl.  When you get serious, I will too!  That was her answer.

At one point today, I went through part 1 of 4 education DVDs from Joico.  I am so proud of this company and can't wait to grow with them.  As someone that prides themselves on being a top-notch colorist, I learned that there is always places to refine once's self.  For me, it's my presentation and verbiage.  

I've taken to new procedures in my salon to reflect what it is the company is looking for.  So, if you notice something different, it's merely a reflection of my growth.  Comedically, I had a close friend of mine tell me recently she didn't like it/- it's not "her Josh".  Well, my love, yes it is.  This is just the big-boy Josh.  It means no ranting on Facebook, not validating what people say on Facebook, not tweeting as much or even spending time validating behaviors and comments I find unbearbable.

It's not being a snob, it's being professional.

Don't think it's just my professional life that has changed.  Since November 1st, I have lost 18 lbs and have started to look at my wellness seriously.  It doesn't mean I don't drink still, it means, I watch my intake.  I meditate twice daily and have learned that turning off my phone is a good thing.  I don't always want to be made available.  I'm sorry if you've known me for year (some of you have) and I don't answer Facebook messages and texts anymore, it's not that I don't love you, it's that it's not a union we need to have anymore.  

What I'm saying, very kindly is, I have no time for games.  I do, however, have times for people that like to work hard and play hard and can respect my time when we're not together without gossiping about me, bashing me or trying ot tag me 20x on Facebook. 

The world is not Facebook.  It's a beautiful tool to share projects and events in our live and funny little pictures, but it's not everything.  My family is my everything.  My clients are my most important asset and my relationships outside the internet are what matter most to me.

Respectfully,

Josh Cooley

02.07: Heaven

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs,

I have been to Heaven and back.  Yes.  Heaven.  Heaven is the best word, place, everything I can think of to explain this week.

As many of you may know based on posts on social media outlets that I was in California for a few days last week and this week.  I had the opportunity to train with a fabulous company.  The fact that Joico took the chance to invest in me is absolutely remarkable.  Do you know what a compliment it is to be treated like a prince?  Seriously.

As I continue on with the blog and videos on YouTube, I'm you'll get bits and pieces of in-depth lessons and experiences I had while there.  I can't possibly fit all of this into one blog.

One thing I can tell you from last time I wrote to now that I have been doing some MAJOR thinking.

Where will I be in 20 years and what do I want?

In 20 years, I'll be close to 50 years old and will have hopefully opened the salon of my dreams and had some success with a couple books, education courses and shoots.  I can't pray for awards or accolades, but it would be nice to have that too.  A partner and a child would be fabulous and a penthouse in a larger market and a house in a smaller area are something I pine for.  Is it realistic though?

I think it is.

As I returned for California, I came home to my family and clients rejuvenated.  I also spent two fabulous days with a very fabulous person I have come to know.  As Friday rolled around, I was thinking, "I can get some rest tonight and beat the jet-lag" only to be greeted by my best friend.

We had a beautiful evening out, talked one of the best talks ever and closed the bar.  The next day at work, I was happy, but recongizing that I was no longer in California.  I had dinner with an actress-friend of mine and we had a few cocktails.  

Talking to her about the new additions in my life left me glowing.  Talking to my best friend the night prior, he said, "you have a really good aura around you right now."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Have I come full circle?

What going to this event in California showed me was is that I am very special and that there is no one on the globe like me.  I am very direct, very passionate and very enthusiastic about what I do.  I do, however, hate drama and only feed it in toxic relationships.  When you're away for five days in another state and come home to dread seeing "certain" individuals, I think it's pretty fair to say that I've identified the toxicity in my life.

I have chosen to give it no life. 

Nope.

No more from me.  No more obsessing.  I'm analytical by nature, but to obsess is not me.  I am a beautiful human being and a child of God.  When the Creator made me, he made me very special and very likeable and very marketable in many aspects of my life; I like that Josh.

As I met with, ate with, drank with and worked with major executives, celebrity stylists and hairdressers from around the country, I realized something: life is too short to put myself in one box.  Staying around is what I've always wanted, but I have seen a part of life that could be easily attainable.  Developing products, developing education for other hairdressers, speaking to professionals ... those are all things I want to do.  

A friend of mine in California would love for me to come work with him, but I know in my heart the time is not now.  Three years from now, maybe, but not now.  

As I sat there, looked at the message I was reading and thought, in 15 years, I will be 43 years old, I want:

-a partner

-a child

-a brand

-a successful career

-books

-happiness

-opportunity

-security

Those are realistic to me.  It means, once again, toxicity is not allowed.  

So, in conclusion, I want more opportunity.  I want to chase love.  I want to chase my destiny with as much drive and passion as exudes when I write...

2013 is looking to be super transformative.  I am asking for blessings and in order to receive them, I am willing and open to accept what the Creator has planned for me.

Namaste, thank you California, thank you Joico, thank you to my two fabulous friends and my "fabulous smile". You're all my Heaven.

-JRy

02.06: Could 2013 Complete Me?

Greetings Rockstars + Lambs...

Let me start by saying... I am in a positive head space today. Yes.

Last time I sat at my desk to write this blog I was terribly sad and honestly, between you and I, I can't be that sad person or that mean, bitchy person. It's not fun. People don't like it. Friends don't like it. I certainly can't stand it.

Since I blogged last, I have made a lot of changes mentally regarding people in my life. I have had to take a large step back from someone I gave too much power too. Love the person to death, but my investments are not yielding any revenue in loyalty or dedication. All while chasing one person's affection, I have eliminated everyone else. Really Josh? You're better than that.

For the holidays, I was happy to be off Facebook and Twitter and loved posting my love of food on Instagram.

As I enjoyed time with my family, I realized, life is good. Stop looking for the bads. Ever been in that spot? It's a very sad space to be in because it spirals out of control and ANY LITTLE THING can set you off. At least, for me, that's what happens.

As you may have gathered, I'm a bit moody. lol. (what an understatement). I discovered that I have partner-fever.

You know how when ladies have baby-fever? I have that! But I want a partner. I want to share my world with someone. I want to fall madly in love and I woke up Christmas day praying for love and asking the Creator for guidance. Love shouldn't be this hard...

He answered by eliminating a bond I cherish. Well, not exactly taking it away 100%, but allowing me to see what it was: just friends. I invest too much in some people. I love them with my heart, but sometimes waving a white flag has to be the case.

As I sat in my loft on New Year's Eve alone, I poured a glass of wine, tears drying, and fell asleep by 10. The next morning, I awoke to go for a morning walk, came home and started making a list of goodies to take to California and things not to forget.

Looked at Twitter. Didn't want to tweet.
Looked at my phone. Didn't answer my Happy New Year messages.

The day went by, a walk followed again and another. I played some Lana Del Rey and started to cry. I said in my head, "lord... just gimme a sign."

As I sat for lunch, I drank a martini and went home. Nap #2 came and I awoke to look at all my social media. Remember, I've been on a break?

As I open my inbox, I see a message from an unlikely person. I didn't think anything of it.

Let me tie this story together for you... I found what I was supposed to see. I was given a void in my life to make way for a new addition to my life.

I said I would try something new in 2013 and I'm not a dater and certainly not one to hook up (like some people I know). I started texting someone. Four hours later, my little heart pitter-pattered familiar warm thoughts and feelings...

Could 2013 complete me?
We'll see.

Here's to love in 2013. Cheers, lambs.
JRy. xoxo

02.05 : Trouble in Paradise

Good afternoon lambs,

Let's talk about drama and why we like to feed the drama monster, shall we?

It's not something I love to do, but I do.

It not something I always own up to, but I should.

When I opened my salon, I never anticipated that I would have a blast having interns, sharing with people in my life and love working alone, however, all those things are amazing. Then, I turn on the computer and feed the social networking sites with blogs, videos, and posts as most of you reading do as well.

Sad part about it is that when I feel the blog is supposed to be a peep-show into my life, really, what happens is people read stuff, assume, and use my own life and words against me. It has gotten to the point where most of my "friends" have blocked my posts or I am "invisible" to their social feeds as they carry tagging each other in the age of Facebook. Stalk my tweets and assume each one is about them and then they have dinner with me asking for the juicy truth behind what was published on line and there is no story to tell.

I live a very honest life. No lies. I always live a very uncensored life where I don't believe in filters and it's free for clients, my friends, business associate and the iGeneration to see.

Is that living dangerously in this day and age or is it accepted?

I think it should be accepted. My words hit hard in an age where people put pornographic imagery on the Facebooks, Tumblrs and Tweets. I don't do that. Never will.

We live in an age where promiscuity is encouraged and devotion to one person is always compromised. If you're "Talking" to one person online and not in real life, who counts?

We also live in a passive aggressive age of say one thing and do another and posting on twitter and Facebook makes you brave, but owning the words doesn't ever happen.

For me, I built my career and reputation online. That will never stop. One thing that makes me different is that I tell you the whole story from the start.

I do not hide anything. Honestly. What's the point?

I'm not happy with most people today, nor have I been for sometime. I have distanced myself in the attempt to learn more about me and have only tormented my psyche with the thought of what "might have been" or "what is so-and-so doing now"...

Is it time to disconnect for awhile?

02.04 : It's A Countdown

Good evening Rockstars + Lambs!

May I ask a serious question? 

Do you ever feel that when you need everyone the most is when they are never ever there? That's how I feel lately.  It's not how I like to start blogs or internet entries, believe me. 

I am sitting my robe, freshly bubble bathed, and sipping cognac.  I am having a richboy-luxury moment of taking the "edge" off.  Can we just say, it has been been an "alright" week, but not fun emotionally? That's what it is: "not fun". 

I haven't spoken to my best friend in four days.  He's busy with finals this week and it's like I only have Mariah Scarey meltdown when he or my mom are busy.  The other night, I was very sad and had verbal diarrhea on Twitter.  Not something uncommon from me, but it happened.

Last week, a girl came up to talk to me and my friend that I do not care too much for.  Long story short, I snubbed her because she used to be a client of mine.  My friend, being the gentleman he is, talked to her and I was being a bitch.  At the end of the night, a mixture of drunkenness and tired Josh settled in to tell my friend I was sorry  I acted like an ass.  I slept horribly that night and blew his phone up the next day.  He said, "I got your message."  

That was all I needed to be settled.  As I hung up, I said, "ok" to myself and off to see my Guela we went.  My Guela is suffering from a brain tumor at the moment that will affect her health for the rest of her life.  Every 28 days, she has a steroid shot administered to suppress the growth of the tumor.  I had NEVER SEEN her on the 28th day of a round.

My mom administers the injections and comes back drained for three days to a full week at times.I get so sad seeing her deal with this, so this time, I decided to go.  As I walked in my grandmother's home, I saw a frail, old woman (she never acts like that!) I am used to a strong Spanish woman with vigor!  But to my surprise, I saw a meek human that could barely walk.  It literally fatigued her to speak. 

My mom and Guela excused themselves and went on to administer the shot.  When my grandma came back in the room, it was miraculous: her color came back, wrinkles went away, vigor and strength returned and her attitude was ON POINT.  She began to tall colorful stories...

I got quiet.  A lump formed in my throat.

As we left my grandmother's house, I began to weep.  Weeping funeral style as we took the highway home, weeping, sobbing, breathing, speaking in blurbs and random messages of God, the Light and how horrible and empty I felt seeing her like that. 

Weeping.

Tears that not only messed up my bronze, injected face, but also a cry for sanity.  What had I just seen?

I saw Death.

Death is suppressed every 28 days for my grandmother and my mom has to watch this occurence.

 

My mother recently lost her father this year and with my grandmother's tumor as a monthly affair, all I could think about was how unfair this stress is to her and why on Earth my uncles (her brothers) are nowhere to be found to deal with this shit.  Why does my mom have to?

Why did I want to?

The next day at work, I was silent.  Tuesday, silent again.  My mom visited me at work and let me know that there has been stress at work.  Let me guess, it's only been two days since seeing grandma.  

As I left work that night, I started to cry all the way home listening to my iPod.  I had to release stress the only way I know how: go on a bender.

Drink drink.  Facebook. Tweet. Drink Drink. Facebook. Tweet.  My poor besty.  I inboxed him how devastated I was.  

He has to think I'm crazy!

Not only am I attitude; I'm crazy.

I can't wait for finals week to be over so I can congratulate him for acing everything and have him back.  With his absence and my mom's stress-load, the two rocks of my life are missing in action this week.  This makes for a very fragile Josh.

Today, everyone that came to see me talked to me about sad things in their lives and I advised them as usual.  My problem seemed equal to theirs, but did not dissappear.

I'm angry.  Not at my mom, not at my best friend, not at my grandma.  I'm angry that no one else can see what it going on.  

I've lost so much respect for family members and friends this year.  As I saw my grandma perk up for the next 28 days, I thought to myself.....

"Do they even understand what 28 days feels like?"

It's not peace.  It's not strength.  It's not vigor. 

It's a countdown.  A countdown to another shot.  

I need my rocks at this time to keep me strong.  I cannot watch another grandparent suffer.  Not again.  I can't see my mom carry the burdon.  I need her siblings to step up to the plate and help.

I need to stop releasing my stress publicly and with alcohol, but..... 

my countdown has just begun.

PS: i want to thank my mom and best friend AJL for being who they are.  I need them like never before.  

 

02.03 : Four Names That Count

Good evening lambs,

Well, it's a couple days after Thanksgiving and I have taken a couple weeks away from the blog to rest and not worry about my online life so much.

The salon has been INCREDIBLY busy the last three weeks and this week, I took a 5-day hiatus from Rockstars + Lambs. That is my first time EVER doing that! Come Christmas, I'll do the same and come January, I will be out of state on business, so this is something people will have to get used to.

Part of being busy has me been being so busy that I have slowed down on Twitter and Facebook and if I can be quite honest and share something candid with you: I kind of like it.  I like NOT HAVING my WHOLE life and movement on the internet.

As I was going through my apps on my iPhone and my settings on every source of social media, I realized I have a lot of eyes watching me.  I have always prayed for this moment and have recently felt very agoraphobic when it comes to WHO is watching me.  I have a lot of close friends that are "following", but can't recite anything major to me, but when something remotely negative or "gray" is posted online, all of a sudden, they ask questions.  

Are these people JUST LOOKING for drama? Are they negativity seekers?  Are they just trying to find something to bash me over the head with or am I just paranoid?

With that said, I've held off on the tweeting, FB posts and even blogging.  I have been around people lately that have told me they've had to "explain" to mutual friends how "I am".  Explaining what "being Garbo" is like it's a bad thing.  Honestly, it's not.  I just want to sleep.  My wheels are spinning in circles because all I have noticed is that there is constantly a critique I hear about or see acted out in front of me.  Sometimes, I'm good about handling it, lately, I'm appauled.

Regardless of all that bullshit and internal battle I just typed about, the most important thing to me is my clientele and business.  Part of this business and staying in the game and being relevant is always having a "booked" schedule.  It does not matter if you are 1 year in or 20 years in, people that cancel last minute, flakes and demanding clients that feel "entitled" are wearing on me gradually.

I had a lady tell me she was leaving me because she couldn't get in in a week and she is aware of how busy I can get, she point blank, let me know she is going somewhere else when I have taken time to reach out three times prior to get her back on schedule.  I'm so tired of it!  I'm so tired of the bullshit people throw at you about how they want YOU right NOW for THEM! (that's a bit much, if you ask me..)

You know, when I want a day off or don't feel well, I am expected to be there with a smile on my face.  When people walk in five minutes late or fifteen minutes behind, I'm supposed to turn the other cheek, I'm deeply over it.

To get past this frustration, I have been locking myself away at home, reading, juicing, praying and sleeping.  I am not about the nightlife or the people that inhabit it as of late.  All I ever hear about it people seeing mutual friends of mine and them having side-conversation about my whereabouts.  For me, I'm over it.  I'm over the complacency of the scene and the people in it.  I don't do things for free or promo things out for my friends because I believe giving things away for free de-values yourself... and frankly, they take advantage of you. 

I also know how to say "no".  I rarely do something "sporadically" and if it's not planned or on the agenda, it just doesn't happen.  I'm sorry to say this, but YES, my life is planned out.  I don't want to be texted in the morning and asked to go out THAT same evening... it's not enough time. I need minimum of a week's notice. I generally plan my life two months - a season out. 

Tonight, as I finish updating blogs, etc, I'm Christmas shopping and shopping for my trip to California.  Last week was nasty on my diet, so I will need to reclaim my spot on the juice-train and continue on til January 4th when I leave to work with Joico.  I'm so excited for this adventure!  I have noticed that it's FINALLY sinking in for most people that I am taking on a new chapter of my life. Some are scared, thinking I'll never return and some are critical of my decision to add on another project, but honestly... it's been a month or so of loneliness and as I sit here and make my Christmas list, I have four names on it.  

Those are the four names that count.

Josh