Today I stepped away from the salon as the floor got fixed, but something I can share with you all is that I have been fixing things in my life.
It has taken me a large amount of courage to divulge the following, but about one month ago, I began seeing a therapist to help me deal with depression.
I have found that a key factor to my depression is stress and guilt. Unhealthy habits like binge drinking DO NOT help and I have been on a mission to improve my life through meditation, prayer, yoga, working out and even pulling away from the Internet.
One of the hardest things I can share with you is that studies have been shown that social media stunts a person's creativity and makes them anxious.
The first exercise my therapist told me to do was to approach key figures in my life and have a grown-up conversation with them telling them how I feel.
This became difficult as I approached my parents, friends and transgressors in my life. The first week was spectacular! I made huge progress.
Within a week, I had an altercation with a local business owner in town that was once a friend.
My therapist also advised me to take a hiatus from my blogs and limit my social media. It has been so tough and I have had a couple "melt downs" publicly as I approached the inner-workings of progressive conversations I've had with toxic people in my life.
With no blog, I had to learn to privately journal and have made the decision to eliminate my YouTube channel and cease production of my book.
I turned to my best friend and he helped inspire me to create more positive online works. In September, I will debut two new blogs and continue on with "Rockstar Slums".
In an attempt to be more active and have less "thinking" time, I have become very active in two community organizations.
I feel like a large percentage of my depression comes from my passive aggressive nature to air-out dirty laundry via Twitter, but not directly.
I had become a coward and a very angry, jaded person. I have also identified that my drinking habits are not at all alright.
I understand that a good cocktail is appreciated, but 4 is a problem... Especially 4 nights or more a week.
As alcohol has NEVER affected my work or professionalism, it has altered my character and I am truly ashamed of some of my doings as of recent.
I can't tell you all how much fear I have of telling you all via my blog how much it hurts me to be so vulnerable, but it was high-time I admit that I have not been happy as of late.
I am a talented young man approaching 30 and for once I felt as though I was falling off the turnip truck. (NOT a fun feeling!)
I want you all to know that I truly believe that a good therapist will help you on your path to healing and show you how to identify "triggers" in your life.
It takes a strong person to identify their weaknesses. I am strongly telling you that each day has progressed and shown me more about my character.
I am MUCH better than depression and want to be very public in saying I need privacy (as much as can be expected) in this healing process.
warmly and thankfully,
Josh
